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babycracker · 4 years ago

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Echoes In The Forest - Chapter 13

Story Rating: explicit Chapter Rating: teen & up Pairing: adam/f!detective (jordan mills) Word Count: ~4k Warnings: none

“I got a bad feeling about this,” Felix murmurs quietly, trudging along between Nate and Mason. Jordan and Adam are walking up ahead close by the boy as he continues wandering through the forest.

“You mean you haven’t felt that way since we got here?” Mason scoffs, not bothering to lift his eyes from the ground in front of him.

“Yeah, but worse now,” Felix answers, and Nate places a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“It will be alright,” he tries, but somehow Felix doesn’t find himself as reassured as he usually does when Nate attempts to comfort him.

They’d hurriedly packed up their camp and were now following the boy in the hopes that he would lead them to somewhere that may offer some answers about what had happened to him, and where the other kids who’ve gone missing may be. It seems like a long shot to Felix - if the boy is in this state now then it seems unlikely that he would be leading them anywhere important. He very much doubts that the Erlking has any more use for him, if this was even his doing at all.

He glances up at Adam and Jordan, frowning at the way they’re walking as far apart from each other as they can without losing sight of the kid. As if this mission isn’t confusing and stressful enough, now he has those two to worry about as well.

He’d been happy enough to realise that they have feelings for each other, maybe even a little bit excited. Until those feelings started to show themselves and made an absolute mess of things. He’s not sure what’s to become of Unit Bravo if Adam and Jordan can’t sort themselves out. He doesn’t want to lose her, not after all this time. She’s a part of his family now. He can’t lose any more family.

Adam stops suddenly, holding one hand up over his shoulder to signal at the rest of them to follow suit.

“What-” Jordan begins, coming to a halt a few steps ahead of him and grabbing the boy’s arm to stop him from walking. Adam glares at her and holds one finger of his other hand up in her direction, a silent instruction to shut up and Felix almost winces at the death glare that she gives him.

Until he hears what Adam has obviously heard and snaps his attention towards the woods to the side of them, concerns about Jordan’s position within the unit now temporarily forgotten.

“I can’t hear anything,” he vaguely hears Mason whisper beside him, and the wave of panic that hits him over the simple statement is bigger than he would have expected. It really is going to be up to him. He’s slightly comforted by the fact that Adam at least can hear what Felix can see, but it’s hardly the help he hoped he would have after Adam had fed from Jordan.

A loud rustling sound from behind them has both him and Adam spinning around and Felix takes a couple of steps towards the noise, peering into the bushes.

“Felix…” Nate warns, and there are footsteps behind him before Adam’s hand lands on his shoulder.

“Do not run off again.”

“He’s following us,” he looks up at the team leader who just nods in reply, an uncharacteristic amount of concern written all over his face. It’s amplified as he looks back towards Jordan for a moment, who appears positively terrified.

“We have to keep moving,” Adam announces distractedly, making his way over to Jordan and Felix can’t help but notice that he’s walking significantly closer, despite the eye roll she gives him for his efforts.

He loves her, but can’t she put her grudge on hold for just a little while when there are more important things going on?

“I need to speak with you once this is dealt with,” Adam blurts out after one of the longest silences ever to take place between them, and Jordan frowns up at him.

He has some nerve, she’ll give him that. To treat her the way he has been and then demand to talk to her while they’re in the middle of something which quite frankly terrifies her. It’s alright for him, she supposes. He’s not the one this thing is after.

“You think I really care what you need?” she mutters in response, noticing the annoyed look he gives her despite the fact that she’s already turned away from him.

“You should. For all of our sakes.”

She can’t help but roll her eyes again at the typical Adam response. Of course he’s going to turn this into something about Unit Bravo as a whole. She understands that it very much affects all of them, but just for once she’d like him to be straightforward with her, she’d like him to acknowledge that this is a him and her problem and it needs to be handled between him and her.

She sighs and doesn’t bother answering him, and he seems to either take it as agreement or as a sign that he shouldn’t push it right now. Either way she’s more than happy to not speak with him for the rest of the afternoon. For the rest of the mission, if possible. They have more important things to deal with.

He glances up at the trees and the significantly smaller amount of light filtering through them after a while and stops again, glancing at her with uncertainty before turning to face Nate, Felix and Mason.

“It’s going to be dark soon. We should stop.”

“And what do you suggest we do with him overnight?” Jordan asks before anyone else can say anything, gesturing down at the boy. “Tie him up?”

Adam actually seems to be considering it for a moment and Jordan’s eyes widen in horror at the thought that he would actually tie a child up like a dog for the night.

“Are you serious? I was being sarcastic.”

“It’s a valid point, though. We can’t let him wander off,” Mason points out, and both Jordan and Nate glare at him.

“We’re close anyway. We probably don’t need him, actually,” Felix points out before an argument can ensue, and Jordan notices his unease for the first time. Too caught up with bloody Adam to have seen it earlier.

He’s bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, eyes darting nervously around them and his hands fidgeting at his sides. The sight of him makes her all the more nervous, and suddenly walking through the woods at night with four vampires and a near comatose child seems like the less creepy option.

Adam’s right though, as much as she hates to admit it. She’s exhausted and she needs a break or she’s not going to be of any use to anyone.

“So we’re supposed to just let him go?” she protests despite all of that, the idea of letting this little boy wander around on his own in the dead of night not quite sitting right with her.

“Yes,” Adam answers simply, looking at her as though he doesn’t understand her hesitance.

“I don’t think he’s in there anymore,” Nate reasons carefully, and she shakes her head slightly before looking down at the boy.

He’s right and she knows it. His face is completely void of expression, his clouded eyes staring at nothing in particular. He seems to be barely even breathing, and even aside from all that she’s fairly certain that he wouldn’t physically survive the trip back out of the woods anyway.

“Fine,” she snaps, dropping the boy’s arm and turning away from him. There might be nothing left of who the boy once was but she still doesn’t like the idea of watching him walk away from them.

Nate moves to wrap her up in a tight hug, and it takes her a moment but eventually she winds her arms around his waist and returns the gesture. She’s feeling only slightly better about the situation when Nate pulls back suddenly and looks questioningly at Adam, who has come to stand beside them.

“I need a moment with the Detective.”

“I don’t think now is the time…” Nate trails off when the expression on Adam’s face makes it clear that he’s not going to back down this time, and Jordan looks between the two of them wearily.

“Do I get a say?”

“No,” Adam replies, taking a gentle but firm hold of her arm and leading her away, calling over his shoulder to the rest of Unit Bravo, “set the camp up.”

Adam’s not stupid, it’s not the right time and he knows it. But his conversation with Mason has been eating at him all day, and he feels that he may explode if he doesn’t get it off of his chest.

He’s a few steps ahead of her, but he can hear her stomping along behind him, deliberately making it obvious to him that she’s not happy as though she thinks it’s going to sway his decision to talk to her. If he’s honest, he is almost tempted to let it be for now but he knows that this up in the air, disastrous tension hanging between them is going to be nothing more than a distraction for the both of them, and neither of them can afford that right now.

“What do you want?”

It isn’t until she speaks and breaks him out of his own thoughts and hesitations that he realises she’s stopped walking, and he turns to find her with her arms crossed over her chest and glaring at him.

“I want to speak with you about yesterday,” he begins and then draws a blank with how to proceed from there.

“Didn’t we do that already? You said I was going crazy, remember?”

“No. I said that your mental state may have been temporarily, but negatively impacted,” he corrects, falling silent when she just stares at him with one eyebrow arched.

“I’ve been made aware of the possibility that I may have…” he pauses, trying to squash down the sudden panic that rises in his chest to be able to finish his sentence, “unintentionally exposed you to certain things.”

“Certain things such as?”

He clears his throat slightly and finds himself averting his gaze, looking everywhere but at her so as to avoid seeing her reaction to finding out that what she’s been feeling actually comes from him.

“Certain emotions.”

He waits for it. Waits for her to press him on which emotions he means. Waits for the disgust, the horror, or the mocking. When none of it comes he looks back up at her and she’s frowning at him, in what looks to be concern.

She opens her mouth to speak, but snaps it shut again when she can’t seem to be able to get the words out and just gives him a small nod in response.

“I can assure you that it was not my intention to do so.”

“So what am I supposed to do about it?”

There’s a question he’s not sure that he knows the answer to. He doesn’t know how deeply she feels the things she’s feeling, he doesn’t know if just ignoring them is a possibility.

“There is nothing you can do. They will fade in time if you don’t dwell on them.”

“So you’re telling me you don’t want them in here?” she pauses and taps the side of her head. “You don’t want me knowing that you feel these things?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m telling you.”

“Bit late, Adam.”

She is impossible. How difficult can it be for her to just go about her life as though they were not there? They’re not even her emotions, she has no idea of where they’ve come from, she’s no need to fixate on them or even acknowledge their existence.

“I need you to do this,” the words come out slightly more desperate than he’d intended, sounding more like a plea than a command and her expressions softens just a little. Not enough to reassure him that she will do her best to ignore the parts of him that he’d unwillingly forced on her, though.

“Why?”

“You have your own emotions to worry about, without needing to focus on mine,” he arches a brow pointedly at her, trying to give her the hint that he can feel as much of her as she can of him, probably more.

Realisation dawns on her face as she clicks on to what he’s said, but to his surprise her frown deepens and she takes a step closer to him. “And is that what you’re doing? Just ignoring them and pretending they don’t exist?”

“Yes.” There is no right answer to such a question, so he refuses to feel any guilt whatsoever at the way her face falls a little at his answer. At least he tries not to feel any guilt, but he knows it’s there, creeping through his gut despite his best attempts to ignore it.

“Just when I thought you were already as big of a jackass as you could get,” she mutters, her focus falling down to the ground for a split second before she glares back up at him.

They don’t have time for this. He wouldn’t have time for it in the best of circumstances let alone with all that is going on already.

“Just deal with it so that we can get back to normal,” he snaps, a little harsher than he means to, his impatience peeking through just a little more than is probably necessary.

“No,” she begins, taking a deep breath and standing a little straighter, “no, you wanted to talk and I let you talk, so now it’s my turn. I think you’re afraid of me finding out how you feel.”

He rolls his eyes and lets out a huff, turning to walk away from her and back towards the new camp site. “That’s preposterous.”

“Hey! Don’t walk away from me,” she’s behind him in an instant, grabbing at his arm to slow him down and then stepping in front of him to prevent him from going anywhere.

“I think you’re afraid that I feel the same,” she continues, letting go of his arm when he glances down at her hand and he falters, unsure how to react to her outright accusation.

“I- we don’t have time for this right now, Detective.”

“I think that’s why you don’t use my name.”

“Jordan,” his voice hitches just a little - not little enough for her to miss it though - when he attempts to prove her wrong, trying to ignore the annoyance bubbling up inside of him at being put on the spot like this.

“I think that’s why you didn’t want it to be you yesterday, I think that’s why you had a problem with me and Mason, and I think that’s why you always look as though it legitimately causes you pain to be close to me.”

She crosses her arms over her chest again and watches him expectantly, clearly ready for an argument and waiting for him to disagree or lose his cool. So, he does neither. She might be looking for a fight but he most certainly is not, so he sidesteps his way around her and tries to leave again.

“I’m talking to you! You can’t just walk away from me in the middle of this,” she grabs his arm again, annoyingly persistent and defiant, and this time he roughly pulls it away, whirling back around to face her.

“I can, and I intend to.”

“Why are you always such a jerk to me?” she steps closer again, the proximity making him incredibly uncomfortable and starting to anger him all at once as he realises it’s unlikely that he’s going to get out of this situation without at least some kind of an argument.

"Because you-" he begins to reply, feeling himself grow angrier by the second as he finds himself at a loss for words once again.

"Me what?" she fires back stubbornly, holding his gaze, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

"-are insufferable." He finally finishes. It’s as good an answer as any, and is certainly better than telling her that he needs to act that way towards her so as not to become too attached.

"Fine," She throws her hands into the air suddenly and moves to walk past him, deliberately hitting his bicep with her shoulder on the way.

"I won't make you suffer me anymore. I quit," she grumbles under her breath, but he hears her and his arm shoots out now to grab hers and he pulls her back closer to him, a little more roughly than he'd meant to.

"You what?" he asks, his eyes piercing into hers unforgivingly.

"I. Quit."

"You cannot."

"Try and stop me."

His grip on her arm tightens as she tries to walk away from him again, and now she is the one to glare down at his hand before arching an eyebrow at him.

"You cannot," he repeats. His stomach tightens up with worry. No, not worry. Fear. His eyes widen slightly at the epiphany. He is afraid to lose her. He's afraid of the part of her that he still feels within himself being the only part he gets. He's afraid of the possibility of never being able to look at her again or be near to her again, never being able to watch her laughing with Felix again.

His face twists into a frown. He is just as afraid of what the fear might mean as he is of the fear itself. He is afraid of how remarkably easy it has been for Jordan to ignite those feelings within him, after no other has succeeded in… well, he can't even remember how long. She's still glaring at him, though her expression has softened, as though she can sense the battle raging inside of him. It irritates him even further, the way this woman pities him.

"Tell me why not." Her voice is barely above a whisper, but the way it pierces the heavy silence surrounding them hurts his ears. The hand not holding onto her twitches at his side before he lifts his arm, the backs of his knuckles just grazing her cheek before he quickly pulls it back and releases her.

"I-"

"Apologise?" she cuts him off, and he falters at the interruption and takes a slight step back.

"Yes."

"No." She steps towards him again despite his attempt to get away from her.

"No?" he asks faintly. Her heart is racing, she's riled up and her body heat is almost scorching. He takes another step away to distance himself before he is overwhelmed but she steps with him, the gap between them remaining virtually non-existent.

"No. I don't accept your apology. Not this time."

He's lost for words, racking his brain for a response. She continues talking before he can articulate his thoughts.

"I don't accept that you feel sorry for feeling something for me. As though it's a bad thing."

"I- do not feel anything for you. You are a member of my unit, that's all. I feel for you as I feel for my other agents."

"Lying."

"And if I did, it would indeed be less than ideal," he continues, deliberately ignoring her rebuttal.

"Why?"

He sighs in exasperation and looks away from her, his gaze shifting up to the high tops of the trees as though he believes that if he looks away from her for long enough she'll disappear. Unfortunately it doesn't work and she's still staring at him expectantly, waiting for his answer.

"Why is of no consequence," he answers and she finally looks away from him to roll her eyes.

"You are such an asshole."

Something snaps inside of him, finally growing tired of biting back his own opinion while she constantly throws her own in his face.

"And you, you are the most stubborn, most unwarrantedly self assured, most irritating, most relentlessly persistent human I have ever met."

"And you are the most arrogant man I've ever met."

"Then why must you persevere in trying to drag emotions of which you are not certain out of me?"

"Because I am certain of them!" She's yelling at him now, loud enough for him to be able to hear the rustling of disturbed birds taking flight from the branches they’ve settled on for the night above them. Her eyes burn into him, her heartbeat almost deafening. She inches closer to him and he tenses, his fingertips seem to burn and itch with a need to touch her but his hands remain by his side.

"You are certain of them too, I know you are. You might not be certain of what to do about them, but you're certain they're there."

He glares down at her, his body tense and the beat of his own heart matching hers. She stands before him, still inappropriately close, her head tilted back a little to be able to hold his gaze, eyes wild and face twisted in frustration.

She opens her mouth to speak again, but Adam has had enough. He doesn't want to hear anymore, he doesn't want to hear the words out loud in case they ring as true as he fears they will.

"Detective-" he tries to cut her off but she shakes her head angrily.

"No, you're going to-"

"Detective Mills!"

"Agent Du Mortain, you will listen-"

Before she can finish her sentence, before he even knows himself what he's doing, his hands are on her hips, pulling her flush against him and he's ducked his head down to press his lips against hers, swallowing whatever she was about to say.

Her body is almost as stiff as his, and his still open eyes search hers, waiting for some kind of reaction. Her hands fly up to either side of his face and he watches her eyes close. He's kissing her. And after a moment she's kissing him back. Why is he kissing her? He feels her tongue tracing his lower lip and jerks his head away from her, though his hands remain on her hips.

They stare at each other in shock, in anger, in something else that Adam's not willing to acknowledge before Jordan lifts onto her tiptoes to reach his lips with hers again. He reciprocates almost immediately, as though it's an automatic response, and his grip on her hips tightens.

This time he allows her tongue to slip into his mouth, a small groan escaping him when the taste of her hits him and all at once it's too much. She's too close, pressed against him too hard. She feels too good in his hands, tastes too good in his mouth, and his mind is becoming far more clouded with thoughts of her than he is happy with.

He pulls away again, straightening up to his full height and jerking his hands off of her hips as hers fall from his face and hang loosely at her sides.

"Adam-"

"It’s dark. We should be getting back to the others,” he cuts her off before she can say anymore, his gaze lingering on her for a split second before he turns and walks away from her.

He hears only silence behind him and resists the urge to turn and ensure that she is alright, but breathes a small sigh of relief when he hears her slowly but surely start to follow him back.

Well. That did not go at all according to plan.

tags (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @admdmrtn @masonsfangs @oxjenayxo @mmerengue @agentsunshine @bravomckenzie @freckles-spangledvampire @mistyeyedbi @kelseaaa @ambrosykim @amlovelies @forestcreatures @maraudern05 @kat-tia801 @alyssalauren @vintage-vamp @adamdumorpain @zevorah

#twc fic #the wayhaven chronicles #a du mortain #n sewell #f hauville #agent m #jordan mills #echoes #kat writes

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emybain · 5 years ago

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i’m picking a random number here. 5 for nodrian.

i saiiiid i was going to focus more on young nova in the nova’s family lives AU bUT then i got this ask (Throwing their arms around the other person’s neck, hugging them close before kissing them passionately on the lips) and i couldnt NOT use it. after this though i promise to dive into a younger nova with her family, as that was my original intention for this AU. this is about a month following the last fic i wrote for the AU (after two certain people...keiss) and yes i kind of drew inspiration from the fight with Hawthorne in Archenemies bc im basic. enjoy! feedback is always appreciated, especially if you want to see more of my content:)

ao3

Nova’s first week back on patrol and the fates decided to screw her over.

Her team had been patrolling from the rooftops of a busy area when she received a message from Sketch, requesting assistance in capturing criminals that had just performed an armed robbery. Of course he knew she was patrolling that day, as she had told him so a few days prior. Many blocks and a scuffle later, Nova found herself being dragged away from the edge of the bridge by Ramona, who was worried about a wound on Nova’s arm where a bullet had grazed her. The fight was over. The criminals escaped on a getaway boat. And Adrian...Adrian had chased after them, despite being told not to by the Council. And then he got himself thrown overboard after putting up a fight on the boat. There was no sign of him in the water, which was beginning to calm from the boat disrupting it.

They hadn’t even been dating for a month yet, and Adrian had to go and get himself killed.

“He’ll be fine.” Ramona led Nova over to a healer, who sat Nova down and immediately began addressing the injury, instructing her to unzip the top of her uniform and pull her arm out of the sleeve so they could get a better look. The pain from moving her arm was nothing compared to the fear pounding in her chest. “This is Adrian we’re talking about.”

“Can’t you go searching the water for him?” Nova begged, wincing slightly as the medic began roughly cleaning the wound. “If anyone can find him, it’s you.”

Ramona shook her head. “No can do, babe. Since you’re a dumbass and got yourself shot, I have to go give the briefing to the cleanup crew.” She began to walk away, but looked over her shoulder. “They’re already sending out people to look for him. He’ll show up, like he always does.”

Beside her, Adèle sat down. Benton crouched in front of her and took her free hand.

“Someone’s upset over her boyfriend, is she not, mon ami?” Adèle shot a playful smile at Benton. Skies, Nova swore the two only got along when it was at her expense.

“Oui, oui.” Benton grinned at Nova, who only glared back. “Oh, don’t give me that look, pouty pants. Ramona’s right. You’ve known your little boyfriend for years, and you’re trying to tell me that some water is going to take him out?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Nova lied, as she had been doing smoothly for the past month. “I’m just...worried about him. As a friend should be. That was a hard fall.”

“Why so uptight all of a sudden?” Benton frowned. “You’ve never been this upset over him before. You know he always bounces back.”

“Benton is right, Nova.” Adèle laid a hand on Nova’s good arm. It was rare for her to show her affectionate side. Nova must’ve looked as though she was in really bad shape. “What is bothering you?”

Nova sighed and looked down. She knew it was only right to tell them the truth. They were her best friends, after all. But...not yet. Especially when there was a healer still mending Nova’s arm. “I’ll tell you guys later, okay?”

They gave her space after that, assessing their own injuries and getting supplies from the healers. Nova was handed a pair of sweatpants and a loose cotton tank after she was patched up. The injury was already beginning to heal itself with the added prodigy assistance. She ducked behind a curtain set up in the little tent and changed out of her bloodied uniform. Mom wouldn’t be too happy about cleaning this one.

Why did Adrian have to go and do that? Nova was terrified for him. What if he was still in the water, stuck somehow and drowning? What if the boat hit him when he fell in and knocked him out? Frankly, she was frustrated with him as well. He was always doing shit like that, trying to make himself out as the hero. But, as Simon liked to say, there was no ‘I’ in hero. Adrian had a team, dammit, and she wished he would work with them instead of against them. Nova would never understand that side of him. He wasn’t an attention seeker, not in the slightest, so it wasn’t because he wanted recognition. And besides, his parents were some of the most famous people in the world, debatably. Adrian already got enough attention as it was, and he had expressed many times before how uncomfortable it made him. Nova understood that, of course, having grown up in the spotlight alongside him as Ace Anarchy’s niece.

When she stepped out onto the street to examine the damage done to the bride, a shriek cut through the air. Her eyes landed on Ruby, who was now in shorts and a tank top, a bandage around her thigh. The girl ran across the bridge and nearly tackled a familiar looking boy that was drenched from head to toe. The rest of his team followed, although at a light jog, embracing their leader. Nova’s mouth fell open, and she suddenly couldn’t help herself.

Clenching her jaw shut, she stormed up to him. He had the audacity to grin at her, opening his arms for a hug as his teammates stepped back to let her through. Instead, she shoved his chest. He fell back a little, probably more from the shock of her reaction than the impact.

“You fucking idiot,” she said between her teeth. “What made you think it was smart to do that?”

“Nova,” he reached for her arm, but she stepped back, “I thought I could catch them, but I was wrong, okay?”

“You could’ve died.” Nova didn’t notice that they were starting to get looks from the prodigies and newscasters and journalists. “And for nothing. What if you drowned?”

“I can swim.” He took on a light hearted tone, as though the conversation was a joke. But it quickly dissipated, a softer voice replacing it, meant just for Nova. “Babe, I’m fine, okay? Only a few cuts and bruises.”

“Don’t call me that,” she muttered, getting closer to him again until their shoes were practically touching. Her head craned up to look at him. She sent every atom of her anger in his direction through her piercing eyes. “You’re an idiot, Adrian Everhart. Do that again and...and I’ll-”

“What?” he interrupted, tilting his head to the side. “You’ll do what?”

Damn her emotions.

She jumped up, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to her height. His hands immediately went to her back as she hugged him tightly, burying her face in his neck. “I’m just glad you’re safe. Please don’t scare me like that again.”

He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder, pulling her closer. “I won’t. I promise.”

Nova wanted to scold him on his stupidity more, and how he left his team behind, but she knew this wasn’t the time or place. She drew back enough to see his face. Her hand trailed over a cut on his cheek, another on his temple. He was dripping with water still. She tilted her head up, inviting his lips to come down onto hers. A warm feeling draped over her, as it always did when they kissed. It didn’t matter that they had done quite a bit of kissing in the month they had been together; every time his lips were on hers, it was like the first time.

She sighed against him, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Her hand curled at the nape of his neck. She wanted him to know how much he worried her, how much he angered her, and how much she cared for him in this kiss.

He broke away first, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers. For a moment, Nova let herself forget about his impulsiveness and just enjoy being in his arms. And then the moment ended with an awkward cough from her right.

His team was staring at them with open mouths, along with nearly every person on that bridge. Nova’s cheeks brightened. Well, that was one way to announce they were a couple. She had been so caught up in her emotions and Adrian that she had literally forgotten where she was. Adrian seemed to have forgotten as well, based on the sheepish yet unashamed smile on his face.

“Told you,” Danna muttered, shouldering Oscar. “Pay up.”

Adrian sighed loudly and took Nova’s hand as he pulled away from their embrace. He squeezed her palm. “This one’s going to be fun to explain, huh?”

Nova could only look around as people began going back to work. The press were only louder now than before, shouting at the two of them and taking pictures. Her team was headed over in their direction, the most stunned looks on their faces. Had the circumstances been different, their expressions would have almost been funny.

“Yeah. Real fun.”

#nova artino #adrian everhart #oscar silva #ruby tucker #danna bell #nodrian #renegades #archenemies #supernova #au #anarchists #my writing #asks

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a-deadly-serenade · 5 years ago

Text

The Shield and the Sword: Chapter 10: There’s No Place Like Home [Alucard/Reader]

You’re a witch that is skilled in herbology, one that has been persecuted by the church for practically your entire life. In spite of this, moving throughout different towns has allowed you to pick up some chatter about a woman in a village called Lupu. She is supposed to be a wonder when it comes to medicine, and this immediately perks up your interest. So after plucking up some courage, you’ve made it to her door… hoping that she takes you as her apprentice.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16724856?view_full_work=true

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When you awoke you’re surrounded by darkness, your head still reeling from what just happened. But… what exactly happened? Did you kill those monsters? How did you do that…?

The last thing you remember is a bright white light and then suddenly, you were on the ground. You thought of the colosseum, and of its blue flames that resided within the cobblestone torches. Had… had you used the fire to amplify your magic?

The idea seemed ludicrous. Sure, you were good at using your pryokinesis skills, but there was no way that you would be able to pull off such a thing… right?

Right.

But, then again… where were you?

You felt a chill in the air and goosebumps on your skin, and to your surprise, you looked down to see that you sported no shoes. Black, inky water rippled in pools around your feet, and you wondered just how it was you were standing here.

Frankly, it was difficult for you to even look in an attempt of gauging where you were because it was so dark. How were you ever going to navigate around this place?

With a snap of your fingers, a small flame erupted between them, slowly growing in height as you focused your magic on it. It flickered around your shallow breaths, your legs trembling slightly as you took the first couple steps deeper into the unknown depths of the darkness.

You had no idea if you were making any sort of progress, everything around you looked exactly the same and there were no landmarks to help track how far you’d gone.

This is ridiculous, you thought. There has to be a way out of here.

Splash.

Your heart leaps into your throat and you whirl around, eyes wide with fear as you frantically move your flame around in search of what made that noise.

Something… something definitely moved out there.

As you feel your breath starting to even out, you turn to continue on your way, thinking that maybe your mind was starting to play tricks on you. That is until you noticed something out of the corner of your eye.

A white shimmering deer.

The flame in your hand quickly disappears within the palm of your hand, and you lower your head to avert your eyes from their gaze.

The forest spirits had found you.

Your body trembled, but it wasn’t from fear. The power they exuded… you could feel it radiating off them in waves… sharp bursts that felt like tiny needles pricking the tips of your fingers.

The water slowly sloshed all around you as they began to circle you, and even though your eyes were closed, you could just feel their intense stare… feel it down to your very atoms.

What did they want with you? Why had you been brought here? Had you done something wrong when you killed all of those monsters?

That’s when you heard it; a horrible, high pitched wailing that shook you down to the core.

It was unlike any sound you had ever heard before, an eerie wail that seemed to tremble with trepidation and despair. Your soul felt heavy, and your body grew weary, the cries of the forest spirits worming their way into your head. They called out to you, their ancient voices swirling around you like a vortex.

It was becoming too much, streams of tears freely flowing down your face as you covered your ears in an attempt to shut them out. But they were so loud, so unnaturally loud… you felt as though this sound would be permanently sewn into you, haunting you for the rest of your life if you bared listening to any more of it.

“Please!” you begged, and shake your head. “Please stop!”

Your legs give out from under you as the ground begins to shake, a powerful tremor that has you screaming and falling to your knees. Your sobs are ragged, and all you can do is plead over and over that they hear your call, and allow you to see why it is they brought you here.

The same hopelessness that almost took over at the colosseum was beginning to reclaim its territory, and this time, you truly felt lost, as though this is where you had been cursed to spend the rest of time… trapped within the darkness, surrounded by the bereavements of ancient gods.

But then… there’s a tug… at your heart.

A warm presence emerges from the cold, and silence rings out into the air, relief washing over you. It was like you could finally breathe, the weight of their presence finally loosening their grip on your shoulders and you relaxed.

What made them stop?

Your eyes fluttered open, and you are shocked to find that you are surrounded by light. You rubbed away the sting with the back of your hand, and when your vision finally adjusts, it’s only blurred again moments later when your gaze lands on a woman standing before you.

It was as though you had been transformed into a fawn, your legs wobbling like a newborn as you struggled to stay up and run over to her. When you felt her arms wrap around you, her hair tickling your nose, and her smell overwhelming you, that’s when you believed it to be really her.

“Mom…” you whispered hoarsely.

You felt the embrace around you tighten slightly, a fresh round of tears pouring from your eyes when you pulled away to look at her.

She was exactly as you remembered, her smile radiant and beaming and eyes brimming with warmth. She cupped your face with her hand and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

“My beautiful baby girl,” she said, her own tears cascading down her cheeks. “How I’ve missed you.”

You gasped and tried to wipe away the tears that seemed to never stop flowing. “I can’t believe that you’re here…”

She smiled at you, and pulled you in close to whisper, “I’m not the only one here.”

Confused, you looked around you, and slowly, from within the thick fog, walked out groups and groups of people.

Your hands reached up to cover your mouth in shock, more tears pouring from your eyes when you see them… see them all.

Your coven.

Familiar faces surrounded you from all around, your grandmother, your childhood friends Sophia and Zoë, and a dozen other families that had all made their little impacts on your life.

“I can’t believe…. you’re all really here,” you repeated before your voice tapered off as more tears streamed down your face. You look over at your grandmother, and run to her, hugging her tightly before you did the same to your friends.

Zoë’s thick dark curls tickled your nose as you rested your forehead against their shoulders, Sophia’s slender arms encircling your waist as the three of you laughed and cried together.

“I’ve missed you,” you mumbled, and then pulled away from them, eyes gazing upon your friends and family. “I’ve missed you all so much…”

“And we’ve missed you,” your grandmother is at your side, her wrinkled hand taking a gentle hold of yours. “We’re so proud of you, sweetheart, how far you’ve come.”

Your breath catches in your throat and your head whirls around to face your mother. “You’ve… you’ve been watching over me?”

“Of course,” Zoë said, her voice light and filled with just the faintest amount of surprise. “What? Did you think we were just going to leave you alone?” she gives you a smile, her dark brown eyes filling with tears, and she laughs and attempts to wipe them away. “Don’t think you’re getting rid of us that easily.”

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip to keep it from trembling, and you lean into your grandmother’s embrace. “I’m so sorry,” you babbled. “I’m so sorry about everything that happened…” you look towards your mother and grip tightly onto her hands. “If only I hadn’t run… maybe… maybe then you’d be--”

“Hush now,” she said and stroked your face. “Do not say such things. It was my choice to put up that barrier. If there was a way for both me and our coven to survive, I knew that I had to keep you safe. And look at you now… what a remarkable young woman you’ve become.”

You smile, and frantically go to wipe more tears that had managed to slip past. “I’m so glad,” you said and swallowed a lump in your throat. “I’m so glad that I’ve been able to make you all so proud.”

“What, like we’d think otherwise?” Sophia said, and your grandmother chuckled.

The sight of them all here, so happy to be with you, it was an indescribable feeling. Ever since you had lost everyone that you’d held so dear, there had been an unfillable void within the center of your soul, something that you knew would never truly be healed. But, being here… and getting to see them all…

It was as though you had been transported to paradise.

The tricky thing about paradise though, is that you usually never tend to want to leave. It’s a place that entices you to stay, your own personal heaven that lies in wait till it’s time for you to finally leave the mortal coil and join the spirits in the realm of the gods.

And who were you to deny such a gift?

“I’m so happy,” you said, a smile spreading across your face.

Your mother looked at you, her eyes swimming with a mixture of emotions as she leaned down to place a lingering kiss on your forehead. “I know honey, and you have no idea how glad I am to finally see you again, to hold you again… but…”

Her voice tapered off and your head snaps up at the tremble in her voice. “You can’t stay here, my love.”

You recoiled from her embrace, as though she had burnt you, eyes wide from fear. “What… what do you mean? I want to stay here!” you shouted back, as tears began to flow down your cheeks again. “This is all I’ve ever wanted, to be reunited with you, and now you’re telling me to go? ”

“Now listen here, young lady,” your grandmother snapped, but her tone was thick, words tumbling out of her mouth like molasses, betraying her own underlying sadness. “You must listen to what your mother says. You have so much more good to do, more than you realize,” she ruffles your hair playfully and bops the tip of your nose. “You know in your heart that you belong back there… back there with your new family, back there with him.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and although it pained you so… you knew that she was right.

The spirits had offered you the greatest of temptations, and yet, here was your family telling you to ignore their call. They weren’t going to lose you, not on their watch, not when you had so much more life to give.

Your gaze lingered on your grandmother before you turned your attention back to your mother, who smiled down at you and pulled you into a tight hug. Fresh tears welled up within the corners of your eyes, and you shut them tight, for you knew this would be the last goodbye… at least, until fate decided it was time for you to be reunited once more.

“I love you so much,” she whispers, only to you, her voice muffled by your hair. “I love you so much, my beautiful, wonderful daughter… I’ll always be watching over you, my dear, sweet child…”

Warmth seeps through your fingers, through your veins, down to the very marrow of your bones, and when you finally open your eyes, everyone is gone.

You’re startled when you find a flower resting within the palm of your hand, a delicate white poppy, its petals brushing softly against your skin. Where had this come from?

An airy mist swirls around you and your body feels so heavy, your eyelids drooping from exhaustion as you go to lay on the ground. It’s soft, and plush, as though you were laying on a bed… and there’s a smell… it’s sweet …

Lavender?

A voice startles you, someone whispering to themselves in a silent pleading,

“Please, please… if there’s anything out there listening, anything at all… please, just help her wake up… please.”

Who was that?

It’s time to wake up.

Huh? And who said that?

Sweetheart, it’s time to wake up…

Wait… that voice…

Wake up!

A harsh gasp erupts from your throat as you surge forward from the bed, inhaling deep lungfuls of air as you struggled to catch your breath.

You feel the sheens of sweat that covered your body, your clothes and hair sticking uncomfortably tight to your shaking form and your tongue darted out to lick your dry lips, only just noticing how parched you really were.

“Oh thank the gods!”

You nearly jump out of your skin when you hear a voice beside you, and feel the bed sink under their weight. Your head whips around to find Lisa at the foot of your bed, her hands clasped together in silent prayer as she whispered ‘thank you’ over and over again into the duvet.

“Lisa?” you croaked out and flinched under her intense gaze.

Her face was stained from tears, and her hair was a disheveled mess, long, frizzy and curly, resting on her shoulders, as opposed to the loose braid she usually wore. The tip of her nose was red, and her eyes puffy from crying, but when she smiled at you, the shock from everything that had just happened seemed to slowly melt away.

“I’m so glad,” she said and sniffled. “I’m so glad that you’re alright,” she laughed and took a firm hold of your hand. “When Adrian came to us, your body lying limp in his arms, I thought the worst had happened to you while you’d been down there…” she shuddered. “You were so pale and so unresponsive… I thought we had already lost you.”

She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief and took a deep, shuddering breath. “It was thanks to Vlad that I knew you were still alive… he guessed that you just needed a couple of days to rest after expending so much magic, and oh, am I so glad that he was right!”

At the mention of magic, you looked down at your hands and flexed your fingers. So… it was you who killed all those monsters.

“I never knew…” you whispered, and cleared your throat. “I never knew I was capable of something like that.”

Lisa blinked back a few more tears, and then shakily rose to her feet to pour you a much-needed cup of tea. “When Adrian told us what happened, I was furious.” she let a spoonful of honey drip down into the drink, and then stirred in the rest. “But… I had to focus on you. Even though I wanted to go down there and tear those monsters limb-from-limb myself, I trusted that my husband would be more than capable of dishing out a punishment befitting of those foul beasts.”

She handed you the cup, and you gratefully took it, gulping down mouthfuls of the sweet tea. “I had no idea… I had no idea creatures as powerful as them even existed.”

“Yes well,” she sniffed and took her seat beside your bed once more. “You won’t ever have to worry about encountering those things again.”

She reached over and squeezed your hand again, as though making sure that you were really there, really alive. “Adrian was absolutely hysterical, you know,” she said and chuckled lightly to herself.

Your eyes widened a bit, shocked at this confession. “Hysterical? Adrian?”

She nodded her head. “He refused to leave your side, and I’ll admit that he got on my nerves quite a few times while I checked over your vitals, but I knew that he just needed some reassurance that you were doing alright.”

“I see…” you replied and sipped your tea in quiet contemplation.

Lisa was quiet for a moment, and she opened her mouth as though she might say something before a small argument behind your closed door caught not only her attention but yours as well.

“Adrian, for the last time your mother has wished that she not be disturbed!”

“Did you not hear voices just now? She must be awake!”

“I’m sure it was just your mother--”

“No! I’m certain that it was more than that!” “Adrian, I am telling you to stay back and let your mother do her-- Adrian!”

Too late.

The door swung open as Adrian burst into the room, and when his eyes landed on you, his body seemed to sag from all of the relief washing over him.

There was a sense of urgency within his stride and he made it to the side of your bed in no time at all, where he wasted no time in pulling you into a warm embrace.

A tiny squeak of surprise escaped you, the gesture catching you so off-guard that it took you a couple of seconds to even process what had happened. Your arms trembled slightly as they slowly wrapped around Adrian’s neck, and you buried your burning face within the crook of his neck to shield yourself from the bewildered looks both of his parents were giving the two of you.

“I’m so glad that you’re alright,” he whispered and pulled away to delicately move a few stray hairs from your face. “I was… I was so worried,” he chuckled and gave you a sad smile. “I thought… from the way you looked… I thought--”

“Adrian,” you said. “It’s alright, I’m here, I’m okay,” you smiled. “We’re both okay.”

His golden eyes seemed to sparkle in the low light of the waning sunset that shone through your bedroom window, and he smiled again before pulling you into another tight hug.

This outward display of affection is something that you never expected to see from Adrian, much less in front of his parents. So you quickly tapped him on the shoulder to further prevent your plot of somehow turning to liquid and seeping through the wooden cracks of the floor to hide from becoming a reality.

He gave you a shy smile as he jostled his arms back into his lap, and fidgeted with his hands a bit before settling them by interlocking his fingers together. “I apologize, I should have probably given you some space to breathe a bit considering what you just went through.”

You chuckled nervously and shuffled around a bit to get more comfortable on your bed. “It’s alright… I… didn’t even know I could do something like that. The monsters--Lisa said that they had all been disintegrated,” your gaze focuses upon Vlad. “Is that true?”

He nodded his head. “Yes… it is.” he carefully made his way inside and pulled a chair over to have a seat beside his wife.

“Could you tell me… could you tell me what happened?” you questioned. “I--I mean when you found me, that is.”

Vlad heaved a heavy sigh and gently placed one of his large hands over Lisa’s, who had begun to tremble slightly. “Adrian had transmuted the two of you to us, which came as a right big shock because we had merely been reading in the library together. When I first got a good look at you, I knew immediately that your body had gone into shock from expelling a large amount of magic. I could feel it,” he explained. “Your magic. It was trembling and making a huge muck about your system. I had to calm it down, so I gave you some of my own.”

“What?” you croaked out. “You… gave me some of your magic?”

“Little one,” he chuckled. “I may not look it, but I do have my fair share of abilities up my sleeve. If I had not given you anything, well…”

You look down at your hands and flex your fingers. You really could have died? Geez.

“I had no idea something like that was even in me,” you replied. “It was such a reckless move…”

“No,” Vlad countered. “It’s what saved both of your lives. You just need to practice some more, that’s all. Your body is just not used to producing so much magic within such a short period of time.”

“I…” you began, and nervously swiped your tongue across your chapped bottom lip. “I don’t know if I even want to learn how to control that,” you caged yourself behind your arms as you thought back to those brief moments you can remember amidst it all. The flames… the heat… the burning in your arms… the overwhelming smell of death.

“It’s not something you have to talk about now,” Lisa said, a light bark to her voice as she interjected herself into the conversation. “Right?” she shot her husband a look and he coughed into the crook of his arm as he nodded his head in agreement.

You gave one of Lisa’s hand a firm squeeze to express your gratitude but still held your gaze with Vlad. “I have to know though… just what were those things down there? The way those things spoke to Adrian… it was absolutely abhorrent.”

“I knew who they were once Adrian had described them to me; Valhalla Knights.”

“Valhalla?” you repeated. “You mean… the Norse’s version of Paradise?”

“Yes well,” Vlad said with a roll of his eyes. “These are far from the group of holy men they once were. The only reason I kept them around was because of their fierce loyalty to me, that part of their reputation I did not doubt.” his eyes then narrowed slightly as he cast a look over at Adrian. “I see that that loyalty did not extend to even my own son.”

“It’s not your fault,” you quickly interjected. “We should have been more careful--”

“No, little one,” Vlad interrupted with a smile. “There is no reason to defend my past decisions-- they’re what put the two of you in danger, which is absolutely unforgivable.” in a flourish he got up from where he sat, but not before he leaned down and kissed the top of Lisa’s head. “I am off to have a talk with my supernatural guardsmen. This is my home and I will not have some demons running amuck with my family.”

He bowed before the three of you and with one final glance, he vanished within the blink of an eye, off to go deliver his word to his very terrified followers.

“I’m glad that he’s finally having a talk with them,” Lisa said. “I would sometimes worry that you would wander into some corner of the castle and run into a less than understanding creature that wouldn’t take ‘I’m lost’ as an excuse,” she sighed and ran a hand through her frazzled hair. “I think I’m going to go downstairs and start dinner… it’ll keep my mind busy.” she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead, which made you blush.

“I’m so glad that you’re alright,” her eyes shined with new, unshed tears, but she quickly excused herself before they could fall. “Oh, Adrian,” she said from the doorway. “If you wish to join me later, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“I will mother,” he replied, but then his eyes found their way back to you and he smiled. “Just… in a bit.”

She gave him a knowing smile and closed the door with a sly, “Well, alright!”

With the two of you now alone, you become keenly aware of how close Adrian was sitting next to you and it sent blood rushing to your face again. You did not know what to say, and your heart hammering in your chest and your palms becoming all sweaty from nerves wasn’t exactly helping things either.

“I don’t suppose I properly thanked you for well, saving my life earlier,” Adrian finally said, with a teasing lilt to his voice. “So, thank you.”

“Oh please,” you snapped back. “If you hadn’t acted like a fool and gotten yourself stabbed and on top of that, tried to perform healing magic that was clearly out of your league, then maybe I wouldn’t have had to go all… I dunno, Hephaestus on them!” you practically shouted, and you felt yourself twinge with annoyance when Adrian merely began laughing at your response.

“What’s so funny?” you grumbled and huffed when he just started laughing harder. “Adrian!” you groaned and lightly punched his shoulder. “You know I’m right!”

“That’s exactly,” his laughter died down to a chuckle. “Why I’m laughing. I cannot believe I thought I was strong enough to heal that wound. What was I thinking?”

“I don’t know! That’s what I want to know!” you teased and started to laugh along with him.

The moment was sweet and it felt nice to joke around and have a laugh after something so traumatic. You felt yourself relax, but then it’s almost as if a pit drops in your stomach, one that you wish could swallow you whole, when he takes one of your hands into a gentle grip.

“You really did save my life back there though,” he smiled. “And Aria’s too,” he added, his fangs gleaming under the light of twilight. “I really don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him. “Oh come on Adrian, I’m sure that you managed fine without me.”

“It’s strange,” he said and leaned in just a bit closer. “We haven’t even known each other a year now, but you’ve somehow made my home feel more… complete.”

You felt your breath catch in your throat and a sense of panic begin to overwhelm you.

I know where this is going, you think to yourself. At least, I think I do… oh please tell me that my sixth sense is all wrong about this!

But the telltale signs are all there; the way he nervously fidgets in his seat on the bed, the way the grip on your hand grew just a fraction tighter, and the way… the way that he’s looking at you.

You feel your heart break in two, unworthy of such a gaze filled with unparalleled amounts of adoration and… and--

“I… I think I’m in--”

Before he could even think of finishing his thought, you put a finger up to his lips to silence him. Your arm began to shake when he opened his eyes in surprise, and then his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, clearly not understanding what was going on.

“Please,” you begged, and your arm slid down from his face and landed onto the bed with a heavy thump. “Please don’t say it…”

Your head lolled forward and you kept your gaze locked onto the comforter of your bed, unable to bring yourself to look at him. There was a tense silence that lingered in the air and for a brief moment, you hoped that he had turned himself into mist or transmuted out of the room, but then his chair scratched sharply against the hardwood floor and the door to your bedroom was harshly yanked open. A heavy, sad sigh permeated the quiet air between the two of you before the door was closed with a controlled sense of desperation, leaving you alone.

That’s when the tears came, hot, heavy globs that streamed down your face as you sobbed until you had nothing left, and buried yourself into your covers so that you may sleep and hide away from the world.

___________________

It was an understatement to say that there was a shift between the dynamic you and Adrian had shared within the walls of Castlevania. The personal lessons you had with each other stopped altogether, you practically avoided him at all costs, and if there was an opportunity where you could eat alone, you took it. Obviously these games could only go on for so long without the other two residents in the home picking up on the obvious tension.

Lisa had been the first to try and make an attempt to talking about it with you, but you had immediately dismissed her questions by directing it instead to a new technique of sutures you wanted to try based on a particular stitching pattern you’d seen on one of the dresses Crina had made.

Vlad had been equally as unsuccessful in getting anything from you, even if he believed his idea of asking you in the garden was a great one. When he tried to bring up Adrian, you broke off the conversation and said that you had to head back to the greenhouse to tend to some of the plants,

“Those rosemary have been acting really finicky lately, I should go check on them.”

Sure, rosemary. He knew you were avoiding Adrian, he wasn’t born yesterday. But all he could do was let you be on your way-- it’s not like he and Lisa were having much luck getting anything out of Adrian either.

You knew that it was a bad idea to act like this, to just avoid the problem and hope that you never had to confront it, but Diana had been right; you needed to talk to someone about this, you felt like you were going crazy with the amount of lying and dodging you’d been doing these past couple days.

Surprisingly, you had found your comfort amongst an unlikely pair of confidants: Adrian’s familiars. Well, the three that didn’t believe you drank the blood of the firstborn and made contracts with demons.

Aria had naturally been the first one to approach you, telling you that even if her master refused to speak to you, that didn’t mean you two couldn’t still be friends! She told you that Amore had been in absolute hysterics when she found out what had happened and that Lockette had murmured something about a, “stubborn lock refusing to break.” Yeah… you knew exactly what she was talking about.

She had been the one who suggested that you visit Hatred and Cereza down in the underground caverns since they might be able to shed another opinion on this whole situation. Hatred had initially acted a bit feisty towards you since you did kind of break his master’s heart and all, but after Aria had filled him in on the talks the two of you had shared, he seemed to calm down.

Cereza thankfully let you know that she was going to try and remain impartial during all of this and settle her opinions once she was able to properly make up her mind. And so it soon became a part of your daily routine to find time to head down to the cave that Hatred called home, with Aria always trailing behind you and Cereza not too far behind so that you could really just… vent.

“Anything happen today?” Aria asked while picking through a porous rock to try and excavate the tiny gem she swears she saw.

“Just Lisa cornering me in the library again,” you said and scratched Cereza under her chin as she hung beside you on a low stalactite.

“You know you can’t avoid her forever!” Hatred chastised. “I just wished you would sit down and talk to her.” “And say what?” you snapped. “Oh, yeah, I’m sorry that I broke your son’s heart because I’m an indecisive mess that thinks she’s undeserving of love.”

Hatred growled and threw a rock in your direction. “I am so sick of this!” he snarled. “Why do you think that?”

“Think what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” he hissed and stomped over to where you sat. “Why do you think you are undeserving of happiness? You’re living a life that some people would do anything to have.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scoffed.

“Am I being ridiculous?” he put his hands on his goat hips and glared at you with his red eyes. “You forget that my kind specializes in making deals with you humans. I’m sure there are plenty alive out there that would offer up their own soul to be in your shoes. Someone with a respectable job, someone that’s living in a life of luxury-- fresh food for every meal, nice clean clothes always at the ready-- and of course, someone that has people that love them.”

He gave you a harsh jab on the knee with one of his long pointy nails. “You two have been acting like such spoiled children-- both you and my master. You can’t even offer the woman who took you in an explanation?” he huffed and shook his head at you disapprovingly. “Honestly.”

Your mouth hung open in shock at Hatred’s speech, with even Aria and Cereza falling silent.

“What?” Hatred wondered. “Am I wrong?”

“No… I…” you’re rendered speechless by his brutal honesty, and it takes you a few minutes to organize all of your thoughts. “You’re right… goddess, I can’t believe I’m actually agreeing with a demon.”

“Hey!”

Aria and Cereza giggled as Hatred’s outburst, and Cereza let out a couple of squeaks and twitches of her ears as she said something to Aria to translate.

“Demon jokes aside,” Aria said to Cereza, who merely cocked her head to the side feigning innocence, “Cereza and I both agree that it’s time for you to come clean with yourself. But, you should at least let someone know what’s been going on,” she flew up off your shoulder and kissed your cheek. “They’re your family. They can help… definitely a lot more than us familiars can.”

You cupped her gently in your hands and kissed her head. “You three have helped me even more than you know. I suppose… I’ve just been afraid to tell them all of this. It’s an awful lot to put on someone.”

“But that’s the whole point of family!” Aria exclaimed. “They’re there so you don’t have to put up with all of this on your own!”

Cereza let out a couple rapid squeaks out to express her concurrence.

“See!” Aria said and pointed to Cereza. “She agrees with me!”

“You’re right,” you said. “I… I need to be more open about all of this,” you got up from where you sat and dusted off pieces of shale from your pants. “I think I’m going to go and find Lisa.”

Hatred comically wiped away some sweat from his brow and collapsed onto the hard stone floor. “I’d say ‘hail Satan’ but I know he doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

You chuckled and thanked the three of them one last time before you exited the caves and quickly made your way back inside the castle to find Lisa. It seemed as though fate was on your side that day, and as you darted down a hallway you practically ran into her, who seemed to be on a mission of her own.

“Lisa!” you exclaimed out in surprise. “I was just looking for you.”

“Really?” one of her fine eyebrows were raised up in confusion, the expression in her eyes a bit more distant than you would have liked. “Because it seems to me that you’ve been hellbent on avoiding us.”

You flinched under her harsh gaze, and sheepishly lowered yours, unaccustomed to her being so upset with you--not like you didn’t deserve it. “Yeah… I’m… well, I wanted to apologize for my behavior.” you took a deep breath and steeled your nerves to look her in the eyes. “I wanted to find you so that I could have a chance to explain myself… if you’ll let me.”

“Oh,” she said, her eyes widened a bit. That appeared to catch her off guard and her expression softened a bit. “Yes, of course,” she replied and followed you to your room and took a seat at your desk while you sat on your bed.

It took you several tries to finally find the right words to say but after a couple of deep breaths, you were ready to begin. “First of all, I wanted to say how truly sorry I am for ignoring you and Vlad this week. I’m not… I’m not exactly good at dealing with this sort of thing.”

“I hope you know that neither one of us wanted to pry,” Lisa said. “We just wanted to try and help.”

“I know,” you replied. “I’m just…” you sighed, and then chuckled quietly to yourself. “Frankly, I was terrified.” “Terrified?” Lisa repeated. “Sweetheart, what were you terrified about?”

You felt your lip begin to tremble and let out a bittersweet round of laughter. “Lisa, my life has been marred with tragedy, death, and prejudice. The number of times I found myself surviving with nothing more than the clothes on my back, are too many to count. I thought I was destined to live in destitute for what I was, maybe it’s what I deserved…” you’re quiet for a moment as you let your words settle, and then continue.

“But then I was given a second chance, and it all seemed too good to be true. A family had taken me in knowing what I was, and they didn’t care. They welcomed me as one of their own, re-instilling a sense of purpose within me I thought had long since died. And even though everyone around me has been screaming that I deserve all of it… for some reason, I can’t bring myself to believe it.”

Lisa’s face crumpled under your confession and she left her spot on the chair to join you on the bed and wrap an arm around you. “Why in Heaven’s name do you not think you deserve all of this?”

“I don’t know!” you blurted out hopelessly. “For some reason, I’ve convinced myself I’m cursed and I can’t risk…” your chest heaved as you took a deep breath. “I can’t risk anything happening to you.” your voice cracked as you looked at Lisa, fresh tears streaming down your eyes. “I would never be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to you, or Adrian, or even Vlad because of me.”

“Sweetheart,” Lisa took a tight grip of your hand and forced you to keep looking at her. “What happened…” she faltered for a moment, carefully choosing her next words. “What happened to your family was a tragedy, but surely you must know that it wasn’t your fault?”

“I… I know,” you sniffled and wiped away at the tears that kept leaking from the corners of your eyes.

“Good, because it wasn’t. Nothing is going to happen to us because of you. Your family died at the hands of ignorant people clouded by fanatical judgment, not you. It saddens me that you’re letting them strip away the pride you’re supposed to be feeling towards your heritage.”

“What do you mean?” you questioned.

“You’re berating yourself for feeling happy because you’re a witch, are you not?”

Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment and your lip pursed into a thin line as Lisa hit the nail right on the head. How she was able to read you so easily honestly astounded you, and more tears fell as you broke down in her arms.

“It’s…” you whispered, and took a harsh breath. “It’s been so exhausting have to hide and lie my way through life just so I can stay alive because of what I am. I sometimes feel ashamed… my coven was filled with such strong, proud women. Witches are supposed to be fierce and ethereal, a guiding light to the other side of the veil that people are supposed to admire and turn to for help. It’s kind of hard to feel, much less embody any of those traits when the whole country wants nothing more than for you to be burned at the stake.”

“I know times have changed,” Lisa said and brushed some hair away from your face. “But what makes you think that you haven’t taken on these roles even now?”

“What?”

“Come now, little one,” she gave you a lighthearted grin and bopped the tip of your nose. “Ever since you started your studies, you’ve been slowly growing into the witch you were meant to be. How many times have I said how thankful I am you found us? Far too many to count, right?” she gave your hand another squeeze and smiled at you. “I know it’s going to be hard to let go of all of these anxieties, but I hope you know that there isn’t a moment where I’m not indebted to whatever forces brought us together.”

You sniffled and wrapped your arms around Lisa as you brought her into a tight hug. “Thank you…” you whispered. “For everything…”

“Of course,” she replied. “I hope…” she wiped at a stray tear that managed to slip by and gave you another radiant smile. “I hope that you know you’re deserving of everything that’s happened, that you’re deserving of a second chance here with us. And I know Adrian has been in a mood lately, but I’m sure he more than agrees with me.”

You cringe at the mention of Adrian and untangle yourself from your embrace, fiddling with a stray thread on your shirt as you worked up the courage to bring up just what had transpired between the two of you. “Yeah… about Adrian--”

“There you are.”

You whip your head over to look into the doorway to find Vlad standing there in a rich red long-sleeved shirt and black pants, his long black hair having been neatly tied back with a silk red ribbon.

Shying away from his gaze to try and make it look like you weren’t just crying, you hear Lisa clear her throat and ask him,

“What can we do for you dear?”

“I apologize if I interrupted anything,” he said. “But… it’s time.”

You blew your nose into a handkerchief and gazed up skeptically towards Lisa for an explanation on Vlad’s cryptic statement. What does he mean it’s time?

“Oh!” Lisa suddenly exclaimed. “Right, I almost forgot,” she took a hold of your hand and pulled you up with her. “You’re going to want to see this.” was all that she said to you before she leads you out of your room, quick to follow her husband’s long strides as you went up stairwells and whipped around corners until you arrived at a tall wooden door.

Vlad pushed it open with ease and you swallowed nervously at what lay inside. Large gears turned and clanked beside you as they churned who knows what throughout the castle. Occasionally, a pipe would hiss out a stream of steam, and you yelped as one went off near your head.

“What is this place?” you whispered to Lisa.

“You know,” she said, as she looked around the room herself. “I’m not quite so sure myself!”

You gave her a deadpanned expression. Great.

“All I do know is that you shouldn’t take a gander off to the sides,” she pointed over at the edge of the high bridge you were currently walking on. “I think that sight would make anyone queasy.” You swallowed a lump in your throat and shuffled closer to Lisa. “That’s reassuring,” you mumbled.

A large, magnificent window embellished with an extravagant gothic frame stood at the very end of the walkway, and illuminated within the bright morning light was a strange object that appeared to be floating above its pedestal.

You had never seen anything like it and as the three of you ascended the small number of stairs to stand before it, you were entranced by the golden adornments that covered its pitch black body. It was fairly large, but as for what it did… you hadn’t the slightest clue.

“Is everyone all here?” Vlad asked.

“Yes.”

You felt your stomach turn to knots when you heard his voice and in spite of everything that you had talked about with Lisa, you still couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see that Adrian stood beside his father, who let out a surprised chuckle when he noticed his son.

“Good, now,” he turned his attention to you. “What’s about to happen may seem alarming but rest assured, everything will be fine.”

“Uh…” you drawled out. “Alright? I… I’m sorry, what is going on?”

“Just watch,” Lisa replied and pointed to the strange trapezoidal cube.

Vlad stood with his back to the rest of you, his shoulders squared back, and as he lifted his hand before the strange item, it slowly began to let out a bizarre whirring sound and split apart before your eyes, spinning so rapidly that it appeared instead as a large glowing golden orb. Several gears that had been inactive started to turn and the entire castle trembled beneath your feet.

For a split second, you thought maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you because everything outside appeared to be flickering in and out of your view. The trees were there one minute, but then the very next, they were gone. This happened several times before the vast expanse of the Transylvanian wilderness vanished within the fraction of a second and was instead replaced by the glittering white sands and towering cliffsides surrounded by the deep blue sea.

The castle lurched you all forward as it stabilized itself, the cube assembling itself back together and the gears slowing to a halt as you reached your destination.

“What the hell was that?” you uttered.

“Did I never tell you?” Vlad wondered aloud as he turned to face you. “This entire structure is a traveling machine, and I can pilot it to any location on Earth.”

“You can’t be serious,” you said, voice laced with skepticism. “There’s no way you’d be able to move an entire castle within the blink of an eye.”

He merely smiled and instructed that you look out the window with a wave of his hand. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

You were still suspicious even as you walked up towards the window, but as you pressed your face closer to the glass and really took a look… you knew where you were almost immediately and you really couldn’t believe your eyes.

“But, this is impossible… ” you muttered.

“I told you I have a few tricks up my sleeve,” Vlad teased as he walked over to stand beside you. “Welcome to Caliacra.”

So it was true. You were in Caliacra.

“This is where we will be staying for the next month or so,” Vlad explained. “Our party is taking place here as well, and is going to be co-hosted by my sister who has dominion over these lands.”

“We’re staying here for a month?” your face was split with a wide grin and your eyes sparkled in delight at this news.

“Yes,” Vlad said with a small smile. “We try and come here every year or so to visit my sister, and being able to escape the cold weather isn’t bad either.”

It was like a dream come true having the opportunity to be back... and for a whole month too. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been here, it surely had to be shortly after… shortly after--

“Do you…” you said all of a sudden. “Do you mind if I went down to the beach?”

Vlad blinked at your forthright request but then he smiled and nodded his head. “Of course. There’s no need to ask me for permission--”

You had taken off out of there before he could even finish his sentence, sprinting down the halls and jumping down two, sometimes three steps at a time. You were a woman possessed, and the only thing that would satiate you was feeling that cool ocean breeze on your face and smelling the sea air as you dug your feet into the warm sand.

Shoving open the back door, you nearly tripped over yourself in your own excitement when you could confirm that yes… this was real. You were in Caliacra. You were back home.

Giddy laughter bubbled up from within your chest and it erupted from you as you began to spin in circles around the cliffside. The view was breathtaking and you were mesmerized at the sight of the white waves crashing against the treacherous rocky shore down below. It was only then that you realized just how picturesque this spot was, and it seemed to be only a couple minutes stroll down the hill to reach the beach, so that’s exactly where you headed.

You ditched your shoes about half-way there, kicking up sand and rocks in your haste to reach the pristine shores at the bottom of the valley. When your toes finally sunk into that sand… the joy you felt at that moment was unparalleled.

The sun shone high above you in the sky and as you looked over the neverending expanse of the ocean before you, all you could do was sit and take it all in. Rays of sunlight dance across your skin and you closed your eyes in contentment, stretching out your limbs like a cat getting ready to take a nap. It was quiet, with the only sound being the waves crashing against the shore and an occasional gull cawing away as it searched for food. You felt more at peace now than you had in years.

You had no clue as to how long you stayed out there, basking in the sun’s rays and letting the waves lull you into a state of utter tranquility. You likely could have been there all day with no care for how much time had passed, not worried about anything, not thinking about anything. All that mattered was that you were on a beach in Caliacra… a place you never thought you’d see again.

You scooped some sand into the palm of your hand and let it seep through your fingers, the fine particles scattering in the wind and disappearing from your grasp in a matter of seconds. You chuckled to yourself as you kept doing this, and a small part of you wished that some things in your life could vanish just as easily.

The sound of footsteps crunching against the rocks and sand snapped you out of your trance, and when a shadow loomed over you, blocking the sun, you couldn’t believe who was standing there.

Adrian. With… a basket?

It was a little awkward, what with you on the ground staring up at him looking completely bewildered and him, merely standing there, the expression on his face looking completely unreadable. You weren’t sure exactly… what he was doing, but this bizarre stand-off was starting to get you agitated, so, you said something.

“Do… you want to sit down?”

That seemed to snap him out of it, and you picked up on a couple quick, mumbled apologies before he clumsily sat down beside you. He had his hair tied back again, with the sleeves on his dark blue shirt rolled up to his elbows. His arms rested atop his knees and the basket lay between the two of you, acting as an invisible barrier.

Neither one of you said a thing and you nervously tucked some hair behind your ear to try and not explode from how stifled you felt. Was he going to say something or not?

To your surprise, he leaned over and reached inside of the basket pulling out a sandwich, which he handed to you. “I…” he cleared his throat, his eyes darting away from your gaze. “I know this all might be a bit overwhelming, but you should still eat.”

Your eyes widened in surprise and you were sure they were about as big as saucers, a shy ‘thank you’ tumbling from your lips as you took it from him and let it rest in your lap. You saw him take one out as well and bite into it, and even though you thought you were too nervous to eat, your stomach let out an obnoxious growl, proving you wrong. Sheepishly taking a few bites, the two of you ate together in silence, and even if this all still felt incredibly awkward, you were thankful that… well, he even still wanted to be around you. You’d be lying if you said you had no feelings for him but it’s not like you hadn’t made a big mess of things. Denying his feelings the way you did wasn’t exactly going to win you any favors.

You heard the clink of glass and turned to find him taking out two ceramic cups and a mason jar, pouring out a serving for each of you. “Food and a drink?” you said and took a sip. It was sweet, but besides that, it didn’t have much flavor to it. “What else is in that magic basket of yours?” you joked.

You noticed the sides of his mouth quirk up a bit as he held back a smile. “You should know by now that I lack the finesse the pull this off,” he replied and knocked back some of his drink.

“Oh? Then who do I have to thank?”

“My mother.”

“Ah,” you said and nodded your head. “Lisa always seems to be one step ahead.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “She has a way of knowing just what do to… must be that maternal instinct of hers.”

You let out a quiet chuckle. “She’s helped put me back on track--definitely more than once.”

“She was the one who sent me down here. Said she was tired of the way I had been behaving and wanted me to try and mend things,” he let out a sigh and stared straight ahead, gazing out into the vast expanse of the ocean.

You felt your throat go dry and you downed the rest of your drink in one big gulp. “Oh… oh yeah?” your voice stuttered a bit, and you started to play with the sand to try and compose yourself.

“She explained some things to me and well, I…” he cleared his throat again. “I just wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been acting,” he finally turned to look at you, a sad smile gracing his features when he realized you weren’t looking at him. “I should have been more understanding of the situation and I should have caught on that maybe you waking up out of a possible coma wasn’t the best place for me to start confessing my feelings.” You couldn’t help the laughter that escaped you, and your cheeks burned as you turned to face him. “I’m sorry,” you blurted out. “I’m not laughing at you-- what you said, it was--”

“It’s alright,” he said and gave you a kind smile. “I’m… I’m glad that you feel comfortable enough to even be around me. I know how much of a brat I must seem, throwing a whole tantrum and refusing to speak to you and all that.”

You scoffed. “It’s not like I was any better,” you said and gave him a playful smile. Your hand trembled a bit as you reached out and placed it on his shoulder, the action causing Adrian to nearly jump out of his skin. “I should probably apologize as well. I didn’t exactly handle things very well. I’m just…” your heart fluttered in your chest. “I’m just glad that you don’t hate me or anything.”

“Hate you?” Adrian sounded absolutely baffled. “Why would I hate you?” You cringed a bit and removed your hand from his shoulder to shrug. “I could take a few lucky guesses.”

“You know that I don’t hate you. In fact, you should know that I--” he suddenly stopped himself, mouth gaping open like a fish out of water. “Ah, there I go again,” he muttered and chuckled quietly to himself.

He seemed to pull away a bit, and in your panic, you grabbed a hold of his hand. “Adrian,” you gasped, surprised at even yourself for pulling such a bold move. “I… I…” you huffed, frustrated, and looked down at your hands to try and pull yourself together. “Adrian, I care about you… a lot, it’s just… I need some time to think.”

“Think about what?”

“Let me finish,” you snapped. “I… I don’t want to hurt you, not any more than I have. So I need to come to terms with myself about a few things before anything else happens. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you…” your voice trailed off and you gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Or that I don’t want to see you. I… I’ve… missed you…” you mumbled, and quickly retracted your hand so that you could turn away from his intense gaze.

“What was that?” he said, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“I said that I missed you…” you pouted, your back still to him.

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that.”

“I missed you, okay!” you conceded and glared at him from over your shoulder. “I’ve gotten rusty with my sword skills. I tried showing Marius what I learned the other day and nearly cut off one of my limbs.”

At the sound of his laughter, you twisted back around to lightly shove him away from you. “It’s not funny! I’m lucky he didn’t ban me from his shop!”

“I’m sure he and Diana are going to have a field day with that story,” he joked and leaned back on his palms to rest more comfortably in the sand.

“I hope they’ll be alright,” you said as you thought of Lupu and of all the villagers you’ve come to know as a second family.

“They’ll be fine. Not even a harsh Romanian winter can claim a life treated by doctor Lisa Tepes.” he joked and then gave you a reassuring smile. “It’s only a month, we’ll be back home before you know it.”

Home, you thought and looked around you. It was about time you came clean about this place, huh?

“You know this is where I’m from?” you said casually as if dropping a side comment about the nice weather.

“What?” Adrian asked completely stupefied. “You’re from Caliacra?”

You nodded your head. “Yup. This is where I’m from,” you got up from where you sat and walked a couple of inches closer so that your feet were barely in the water. “I used to spend all of my time on the beach when I was young. Well, the time that wasn’t occupied by classes, that is. I would go hunting for creatures in the tide pools,” you hummed and started to walk along the shoreline. “You never knew what you would find, be it a tiny crab or even a slippery octopus.” you stopped your quick stride and checked over your shoulder to find Adrian trailing right behind you.

“Tidepools?” he asked.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never explored low-tide!” you gaped at him. “Your father said that you tried to come here at least once a year! That is inexcusable.”

“It’s not my fault we were constantly occupied with family,” he grumbled. “It’s all about formality with us vampires.”

“That’s rough buddy,” you teased and slid out of the way of his carefully timed playful jab. “Hey! Watch it! It’s not my fault you were denied this as a child!” you laughed and started running across the shoreline. The wet sand easily sunk beneath the weight of your feet, and your jubilant laughter danced along with the wind as Adrian chased after you.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you raced each other, but you had to slow down once you had reached higher up on the bank since it started to shift from soft sand to rough sticks and stones. You panted from the exertion of such an exhilarating run and placed your hands on your knees to catch your breath. It had been quite a while since you had done something like that.

“What was all that about?” Adrian gasped as he caught up to you, and a part of you appreciated that he had actually run with you, he could have easily used his sneaky vampire speed if he had wanted.

“I…” you gasped out and looked up to face him. “I’m not sure… this,” you finally stood back up and looked around you. “I dunno there was this,” you took a couple of deep breaths and slowly found yourself facing the other direction.

A large lush forest lay just beyond the edge of the beach where the sand started to part off into soil. There was this… sense of familiarity, a feeling in the back of your mind that seemed to pull you in. You carefully made your way to the edge of the woods, heart hammering in your chest and palms beginning to sweat.

“I think… this is what called me here,” you said and gazed up at Adrian. You took a few quick glances around some of the brush and then pushed past a branch, allowing yourself to be enveloped by the thick covering of maple leaves and small aquatic plants. A thick underbrush of ferns appeared to part at your feet as you walked along the mud trails covered in thick plush moss. You weren’t exactly sure where you were going, but you had trusted your instincts this far, right?

You easily hopped over logs and skipped over withered, moss-covered branches, occasionally making a stop here and there to get a look at the many swamps that dotted the area. Occasionally you had to slow down to make sure that Adrian was able to catch up with your quick movements. Apparently, he was unaccustomed to making his way through thick vegetation.

It wasn’t until you reached a specific spot that you knew just why you had been lead here. There was a distinct feeling here, at this juncture, a sudden pressure that hits you just behind the sinus’s, one that makes you take a step back to get a second look at things. As you took another step forward the surge of magic that hit you left you a little breathless. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced before, but it quite literally felt as though you were having magic poured in you.

The plants, from the grass to the trees to the flowers and the tiniest leaves called out to you in a wonderous symphony; it was as if the entire forest was heralding your miraculous return.

You had finally made it back, back home.

Laughter pours out of you as you start to skip ahead, bouncing with every step and occasionally spinning around to get a good look at everyone. Ferns grabbed at your fingers and ankles, desperately trying to keep you close, with even the grass curling around your toes in affection. Large trees seemed to sing with the wind, their trunks humming a beat as their leaves chimed in a beautiful soft tune. It was simply magical.

“I can’t believe it!” you cried out and spun around with your arms outstretched. “This,” you gasped and ran over to Adrian. “This is my forest! My forest!” you shouted. “The one that surrounded my village,” you added when Adrian only looked at you as though you had gone a little mad.

He looked around, albeit a little nervously, for he sensed that he wasn’t exactly welcomed here. Perhaps it had something to do with him being a man?

“This forest protected my coven from so much, and we protected her in turn,” you said and rested a hand on a nearby tree trunk. “She was where I found refuge shortly after the attack on my village,” you said forlornly, and you felt the whole forest sag with you at the mention of that day. “This place had also been damaged by those men,” you spat. “They had burned quite a handful of very ancient trees, ones that we all still miss very dearly,” you said and brushed your fingers along a handful of honeysuckle plants.

“This is where I really learned to hone in my healing and plant magic,” you explained and walked over to where Adrian stood, listening to you with avid fascination. “It was through the teachings of the forest nymphs that I was able to harness all of this anger and resentment that I had festering inside of me and turn it into something good.” you looked all around you, a smile on your face. “I honestly don’t know if I’d be here today if it wasn’t for this place.”

“That’s…” Adrian began, but his voice failed him as he ran his fingers through his now messy bun-hair. “I never knew…” he finally said.

“It’s okay,” you said and took a hold of both his hands. “I only ever told your father about all this, but even he doesn’t know this much,” you brought up your hands and gave him a smile. “Can’t you feel it? This place is practically humming with life.”

You close your eyes for a brief moment and take a deep breath. Within a few seconds, a bright green light emanates from your palms and as it passes into Adrian’s hands, his arms jolt as a surge of pure magic seeps through his veins.

His golden eyes are blown wide in surprise and he is utterly mystified by what he just felt.

“That was…?” he asked, and you nodded your head.

“That was a portion of the magic that lies inside the very roots of these woods,” you said and smiled.

“That’s incredible,” he said in awe, curiously looking over all the trees and plants now.

You felt butterflies dance in your stomach as you watched Adrian appreciating such a sacred place to you. It felt so nice to be able to share it with someone who was a part of your new life.

The snapping of a twig from behind you caused you to whip your head in that direction and cautiously stalk towards a bush that seemed to be rumbling.

You let out a cry of surprise as five shapes leap from out of the brush and latch themselves onto you.

Adrian calls out your name and when he receives no response, he races over to where he last saw you, his magic coiling around the tips of his fingers as he readied himself to blast whatever it had decided to mess with you--

“Adrian no! It’s okay!” you gasped through a fit of laughter.

When his gaze landed on you, he discovered that you had been captured by a viciously clingy group of… forest nymphs.

They were tiny things, with big round colorful eyes and silky hair that seemed to mingle in with the rest of their body. Their hands appeared to be long strings of vines that currently had a tight grip on your arms and legs, and he noticed dozens of flowers that had sprouted on different parts of their body. When you finally corralled them off of you, they stood about knee-height to Adrian, and a few of them gave him curious glances, but most downright ignored him.

They babbled away in their high pitched voices, going on-and-on about how much they missed you and how they had so much to tell you!

“Girls,” you said, stopping all of them mid-sentence. “I’m so happy to see you as well, but you’re not just going to ignore this new guest, are you?”

They all simultaneously turned around to face Adrian, who gave them a nervous smile and an awkward wave.

“You brought a man into these woods?” one said sternly.

“Oooh, it is a man!” another one giggled.

“What’s his name? What’s his name?” another whispered urgently.

“This is Adrian,” you said as you introduced him. “He’s the son of a doctor I’ve been learning under.”

“Oh he seems more than that,” one of them teased, and when you glared down at her, she giggled and vanished into a pile of leaves.

“Ooh I see why you brought him in here now!” one of them whispered to you, then they all started to laugh and before you could even reprimand them, they would vanish from sight by turning into a plant. Mischevious little things.

You huffed as the final one sprouted up as a fresh daisy and turned to Adrian to offer your apologies.

“No, it’s alright,” he chuckled. “I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”

You blew some hair out of your face and dusted off your hands that had become covered in dirt. “No, they’re just…” you frowned as you tried to find the right adjective. “Shy?” you settled for, but you knew that was about as far away from the truth as you could get.

Even if they had disappeared from sight, you could still feel them around you and every once-in-awhile you could hear them giggle and gossip to one another. They seemed to be following you, but as you neared closer and closer to a visible clearing, they slowly came to a halt. As you and Adrian exited the forest, you looked back and saw the group of them standing near the very edge of the woods, waving you goodbye.

As you two started to walk down a small hill, you took the opportunity to get a look at where it is you ended up. It was a field, a large one that spread out across a nearby coastline, the sound the ocean being a faint hum against your ears. Getting closer you were able to see what the flowers were and in that moment, time seemed to stand still.

This place… you thought. I know this place…

You walked further into the field until you were knee-deep in the tall, soft grass and surrounded by these gorgeous white flowers that looked like pearls shining in the sunshine. You felt a tug on your heart, one so powerful that it brought you to your knees, one that made everything so clear. The forest… the nymphs… the feeling of familiarity that you had once you stepped out into this place…

Hot tears streamed down your face as your vision focused on the flowers swaying in the wind around you. Poppies… they were white poppies.

Images from the vision you had of your family flashed in your mind and you remembered the white poppy you had found yourself holding after you had said goodbye. You heaved a heavy breath as you gently reached out and touched one of the flowers, practically trembling as their soft petals graced your fingertips.

You heard your name being called out, but…

You felt yourself slowly lay onto the grass, letting yourself become encompassed by these flowers as tears quietly slid down your cheeks.

It wasn’t long until Adrian found you though, the call of your name becoming filled with shock and a sense of urgency when he spotted you laying amongst the plants.

“Are you alright?”

You felt the grass around you flatten under his weight and when you opened your eyes, you saw that he had started to kneel down in front of you. Slowly getting up from your position on the ground, you give him a smile.

“Adrian,” you said, your lip trembling. “This is where my village was… this was my home.” fresh tears leaked from your eyes as you said this, and you quickly tried to wipe them away.

“Are you sure?”

You vigorously shook your head. “Yes… I can feel it,” you said and gasped as more tears fell down your face. “This place… it’s beautiful,” you whimpered and brought your hands over your eyes as you quietly sobbed.

For so long you wondered just had happened to this place. Had the forest regrown and nature reclaimed what was once hers? Or had the area suffered so much bloodshed that the very earth was contaminated?

The amount of relief that you felt seeing this… at being able to feel that their spirits were at rest… it was indescribable.

“I’m so happy,” you finally said and leaned your head on Adrian’s shoulder, a gentle breeze caressing the two of you as you sat amongst the dancing poppies. “I’m so happy they were all able to find peace.”

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monkeydluffy19920 · 6 years ago

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“I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute You’re gonna catch me, You’re gonna catch if I fall”

- Ingrid Michaelson - Parachute

Sannami week 2019 Day 7: Protect

Alrighty-o! Here is another prompt for @sannamiweek ‘s amazing event!

Parachute is probably better known from Cheryl Cole’s version but as far as I understood, it’s originally made by Ingrid Michaelson but they are all good in my opinion but for this project, I used her acoustic version of the song because well, it kind of fit plus ever since that bridal carry panel and the reunion hug, I wanted to add that scene to the end of the acoustic version. So this has been a thing in the to do list for a while so Sannami week and a few day offs was perfect timing because otherwise it would’ve taken forever because procrastination, trust me. The publicication schedule kinda failed but at least it’s done *thumbs up*

So, in last prompt (passion) I pondered about how their pasts have affected on their view to love in general and that both might have fear of loss and rejection which can strongly impact them in their own ways. Nami especially seems that kind of person who really would want to be more open about her feelings (she is pretty open in general but when it comes to romance, she might be really private about it) but for some reason, she is very private about these things.

Although both of them have done lots of sacrifices for each other and helped in the tight situations, I think this song is more from Nami’s point of view because of her way to keep certain feelings inside her whereas Sanji is very openly having a crush on her and he admires her in all ways. Well, One Piece is mainly about adventures and friendships and chasing dreams so if there was going to be some canon romance in the end, Oda-sensei wouldn’t give direct hints about them.

don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned I won't tell anybody, won't tell anybody

Well, if they started to date Nami would probably want to keep low profile first because well, becoming an official couple would be quite a step whether they were still on the middle of the adventures or after them. Headcanonish thinking but Sanji would try to keep their dating as a secret but of course, he would be all hyped up so it would probably not be a secret long enough *laughs*

They wanna push me down, they wanna see you fall down

This was a direct reference to their own arcs where they fought with their demons because well, the Fishmen practically wanted to keep Nami forever as a hostage before the Straw Hats came to save her and then Sanji had to face his disrespectful family after years of abuse so both of them have the ghost of their pasts that probably still gives them nightmares and insecurities at times.

Won't tell anybody how you turn my world around I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound Won't tell anybody, won't tell anybody

More things she only can admit to Sanji, like how his smooth voice can calm her down and how she enjoys him pampering her. I think fellow Sanami fans are familiar with @sanjiafsincedayone ‘s post where was ponders about how Nami might get relaxed from Sanji’s continuous smell of cigarettes (because it reminds her of Bell-Mere).

Don't believe the things you tell Yourself so late at night and You are your own worst enemy You'll never win the fight Just hold on to me, I'll hold on to you It's you and me up against the world It's you and me

The second verse reminded me of he Zou/Totto Land arcs and it would’ve been shipwise very remarkable if Nami saw him on his weakest moment (when Sanji realized that the marriage wouldn’t have solved a thing) but it’s understandable that Oda-sensei wouldn’t make anything so obvious. I’ve said this a lot when the chapters were fresh but it’s still a fact that taking care of the crew mates and taking a share of the huge emotional burdens of theirs is part of Nami’s personality. She was distressed from Usopp’s and Luffy’s separation and worried to death when Robin suddenly disappeared so Sanji’s case would stress her as much as it did and probably even more because she was literally witnessing it and couldn’t do a thing since Sanji wanted to solve it all by himself.

I don't believe anything, don't trust anyone any more

This part of the lyrics reminded of Nami’s past again, how she fought all by herself to save a whole village. Wherever she robbed, she was hated and she had to learn to survive in order to gather the money and she also hated pirates because Arlong’s era made her very cautious.

But I believe you when you say we're never gonna fall Hand behind my neck, arm around my waist Never let me hit the ground, you'll never let me crash (Down)

With the power of friendship, they managed to free Nami and ever since that one building (that had her “office” and maps there) was put into pieces, she finally felt the freedom. Sanji has always shown interest in her and he has always shared compliments to her for example, he keeps telling her how talented she is with navigation and how beautiful she is. So, definitely, he has been a big emotional support to her. Well, others have been too but Oda-sensei has given interesting parallels that give us the feeling that they’d have potential to end up becoming canon, just like the other shippers see other details a significant. Of course, it’s again all about interpretation but there are similarities (for example, they are temperamental but deep down in their heart they are sensitive and emotional persons who are very compassioned and who put others’ need in front of theirs. Also, both of them share a soft, maternal/paternal side which is seen when they act like big siblings to younger crew members. They both remember flashbacks where their pasts have been mentioned (Sanji in Fishman Island, Nami in Zou). Also both of them grew in foster families, both lost their mothers who were dedicated to their children although both fought with their own problems (Sora fought with her health and Bell-Mere struggled with money), both become invisible prisoners and craved for freedom.

Then as said, there are lots of parallels many sharp eyed SaNami fans have pointed out and analyzed. For example, their childhoods were pretty much opposite, Sanji was rich and despised whereas Nami was poor but loved and encouraged to hone her skills. Then there is this theory that All Blue is a place which means their dreams might have a link (which would mean they’d need each other to fulfill their dreams).

One of the biggest parallels so far is that both have been dealing with the marriage in their own ways, both were forced to get married and both made huge effort to prevent it to happen. Also, both have been unconscious when the other was coming to save them or thank them (Sanji in Skypiea, partly also when Nami fought Kalifa and Nami didn’t have a clue of what happened in Thriller Bark when Absalom tried to steal a kiss from her). On top of that, Oda-sensei gives ship-tease with their “Do you love me”- gag where Sanji goes all mellorine and Nami is like “yes yes, focus!” but on the other hand in the later happenings, she hasn’t been as ignorant with the reply as she could be. Perhaps she won’t say it out loud in front of everyone but maybe she starts to develop deeper feelings (or has done it already) but well again, it’s all up to what we fans see and in the end, it’s Oda-sensei who makes the final decisions about their futures.

By the way, it was very nice from Toei to add some more shippyish scenes to the let’s escape from Big Mom-episodes because as far as I remember, when Prometheus attacked them (before Nami made Zeus attack Bg Mom) , there wasn’t this kind of scene or when Big Mom attacked them with sword, there wasn’t the scene about it either so the animation team deserves a big high five.

Frankly spoken, had to edit quite a lot the length of the song so it would be shorter because the last part is basically just repeating the same lyrics but anyway, maybe the main point of this video project was to add as many shippy moments as possible to the choruses to demonstrate where Sanji has been with her and what if those moments have affected her view on him.

Well, like said, she wasn’t aware of Thriller Bark but she has seen so many sacrifices so she is at least impressed probably and they both definitely share huge respect on each other and who knows, maybe this song will become canon? If not, then at least in our headcanons, fellow shippers :)!

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valiant-noble-soul · 5 years ago

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Mun, whats your opinion on FMA 03 vs FMA:B? Do you like one better? Do you like them both? I would like to hear your thoughts!

~I think they’re both wonderful shows! A lot of people like to argue on which is the ‘good’ version, but I feel like they both have their strengths and weaknesses. Allow me to break them down for you:

03 FMA

TRIUMPHS

>Better character development. This is due to the fact that the 03 series is less story-driven, so it has plenty of room for filler. This time is spent making sure every character is studied in-depth, including the villains. Backstories are explored, self-view is brought into question, and when someone has a change of heart, it’s well-earned and never feels out of place. That’s not to say that Brotherhood doesn’t have development as well, but there’s much less time dedicated to it.

>More brotherly moments. I’ll be honest guys, when it comes to shipping, I’m pretty indifferent to all of them. The one relationship that makes me squeal and hug myself is the love between Ed and Al .They’re so different in every sense of the word, but they would die for one another in a heartbeat. Neither drags the other down. It’s very clear how much the two need each other, especially in this version of the story. It’s filled with small moments of brotherly love that just makes me melt. This is something that I sadly found a little lacking in Brotherhood.

>Better soundtrack. Not that there’s anything wrong with the Brotherhood music, but wow the songs in 03 gives me chills! The tunes are so haunting, always reaching inside me and clutching my heart in a tight grip. In fact, it always brings me to last moments of the series where I spent a crushing night wondering what the hell I just watched and how was I going to survive the pain? I like Brotherhood’s music, especially with the openings and closings, but the score in 03 is the one that had the biggest emotional impact on me.

FAILS

>Unfocused plot. While it was good to see a lot of the filler being used to develop characters, I can’t say every second was used wisely. A lot of episodes were dedicated to either stretching out a situation as long as they could, or showing Ed and Al going on a random adventure. Now the latter isn’t so bad if you don’t mind waiting five episodes to get back on to the main event. Now I love watching the brothers at work, so I enjoyed the episodes, but half the time I wasn’t entirely sure what the brothers were striving for. What was the overall plot? Were we still looking for the Philosopher’s Stone? Are we going to do anything about the homunculi soon? Sometimes you just have to be really patient with this show and not everyone is going to be willing to do that.

>In hindsight, the homunculi don’t make a lot of sense. Now don’t get me wrong, I like the idea behind this version of our sinful baddies. They are what’s created when a human transmutation is attempted. They start out as ghastly figures, but after they feast on red stones, they begin to take on human forms. However, when you stop to think about it, there’s a lot of questions to this concept that needs answers. Why are they all named after sins? Are there others out there? Are you telling me human transmutation was attempted only seven times and then never again? In the entire history of alchemy? Why wasn’t Sloth....well, slothful? These are just a few of the questions that made the concept feel like it wasn’t thought out as carefully as it should have been.

>It took a nosedive on how dark it got near the end. Okay, now this one is based on personal preference. There had always been dark elements to FMA of course. It started with the Elrics bringing back their dead mother, only to have their bodies torn apart after all. But near the end....woah. Suddenly it was giving AoT a run for its money! Believe me when I say the death count was just stacking up by the end. And don’t even get me started on what happened to Rose. Like where the hell did that come from??? And to have the brothers separated at the end? Look, I didn’t know Shamballa was a thing at the time! I thought they were separated for good. I think I spent the night staring at my ceiling, wondering how I was ever going to nurse my heart back to health. It just felt like all the fun and adventure was sucked out and replaced with, quite frankly, the darkest material I’ve seen in a long time. Usually I’m cool with that, but not when it comes to my Elric bros, thank you.

Brotherhood

TRIUMPHS

>More fun characters. Funny with all the characters 03 introduced in their filler, the ones I find more enjoyable are the ones in Brotherood. Mei, Yao, Father, Selim/Pride, they were all a lot more fun to watch. Even our main cast seemed more interesting, such as Hoenheim playing a more heroic role in his departure, rather than just having him leave because his body was rotting away. While I don’t feel like many characters were covered more in-depth than in the 03 series, I do feel like the writing gave them enough material to capture our hearts and attention regardless.

>More balanced, thought-out plot. You certainly don’t have to worry about anything dragging on in this version of FMA. The plot is brilliantly thought out, starting as a simple promise between two boys, and ending with a battle against a godlike figure for the sake of the country. Plus, this version has the right balance of drama and humor, and it doesn’t forsake the other at any point either. It never becomes too silly to take seriously or too dark to find joy in. It’s a story filled with hope and strength that will leave you feeling warm all over.

FAILS

>Emotional development can sometimes be skipped/rushed. All the problems with Brotherhood can pretty much be summarized by this. Equivalent exchange, my friends. In order to give us a better-paced anime, the show had to gloss over moments that needed to have a little more time to grow. The prime example that comes to mind is during Al’s existential crises. I’ve seen three different versions of the key-point (live-action, 03, and Brotherhood), and I have to say the Brotherhood version is actually my least favorite take on it. It’s such a huge and tragic issue that needs to be explored, but the show decided to wrap it up in the span of five minutes and then never bring it up again. Not only does this rob us of a moment that should leave us reaching for our tissues, but it also removes some of Al’s development as a character.

Another scenario that comes to mind is when the brothers reach the end of their journey and Al finally retrieves his body. Am I the only one who felt like something was missing at the end there? Like, here was, back in the flesh for the first time for almost half a decade, and all we got from the brothers emotionally was...smiles? This should’ve been the most heartwarming moment of the entire series! They should’ve cried, held each other, high-fived, something! Well, as my friend @alchemic-elric once told me, by this point the story was no longer about the brothers, at least not completely. Everyone’s story was fleshed out to a point where there were many loose ends to tie up, leaving no time to put extra focus on the brothers. This is great in terms of story-telling. Not so great for my Elric bros. BROTP heart though....

I wish there was some way to combine the development of 03 with the plot structure of Brotherhood. Then I think we would have the perfect FMA. Both series have their ups and downs, but if I had to choose a favorite, I would have to go with Brotherhood. It does deliver on everything, even if it’s not always to the extent 03 does. This doesn’t mean I consider 03 a bad series. Far from it! I highly recommend it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, especially if you just want some time to watch your favorite characters do their own thing. Just be prepared for a darker, grittier version of the story. The ride will be beautiful, but quite painful.~

#asks #mun answers

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thattarotgirl · 7 years ago

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Y'know what? There is no sense in punishing myself.

I'm writing and rewriting the story as fast as I can, and by forbidding myself to think out loud about the ship, I only make myself feel more miserable due to the bottling up of all the emotions I have. And in order to keep writing, I have to have a decent amount of joy when thinking about my otp. So, yeah. If there is anyone out there who would love to hear my headcanons about brownham/Will/Matthew - specific or random, - let me know! Frankly, I'm always ready to talk about these things. Literally 24/7.

Aaand here is a gif to grab your attention:

@felicity-smoak-is-my-goddess, this one is for you! <33

It’s no secret that Matthew works out every day and is on a fitness diet, and over time it starts to have an impact on Will, too, like many others aspects of Matthew’s physicality. There are multiple reasons for that, and it really depends on the kind of verse/AU and on the status of their relationship at the time, which are the most important ones. Maybe, one day Will looks in the mirror and decides that he doesn’t like his cute tummy because he doesn’t want to look too old in Matthew’s eyes, basically projecting on Matthew his own insecurity about the reasons why Matthew admires him so much, even though he isn’t exactly an ambitious perfectionist like Matthew is.

So, following Matthew’s example, Will starts to exercise more regularly. On his own at first to avoid being ridiculed anyhow. Then, sometime later curious and supportive Matthew joins him, not mocking Will a single time. As you can imagine, Will isn’t a competitive type, but Matthew’s enthusiasm is very infectious, and so, they end up testing who can do more push-ups in a minute and all that kind of stuff, sweating and grinning at each other, mocking each other constantly, and having tons of fun. But it doesn’t stop there. It’s very likely that they spar. Again, it heavily depends on the verse/AU/status, but if they continue to live in Wolf Trap, for instance, they can arrive at the idea as they clean out the barn and discover how much space there is – you could put a couple of mates on the floor and it would become an ideal place for sparring. Will is quite surprised by the combat skills Matthew has (he owes most of them to the good old days of training with a veteran acquaintance of his, and that’s a different story), but Will is a trained FBI agent himself, after all, and a physically strong man… And you know what? Matthew finds it extremely sexy the first time Will catches him off-guard and takes him down. Even if they aren’t together at that point of time. I can only imagine how easily a sparring session – responsible for a big burst of testosterone, mind you – can potentially turn into an intense making out session. I’ll leave it there for you. x)

P.S. Also, eventually, Matthew helps Will to stop drinking so much.

I hope you like it and thank you for your interest! <333 Feel free to ask me about any specific headcanons any time. :3

@tinyenthusiasttriumph, and this one is for you!

It comes as no surprise that both Will and Matthew have nightmares. If it gets particularly bad, Will uses the “fuck to forget” formula – he plunges into Matthew’s emotions with his empathy, finding the sense of certainty about who he is again, concentrating on Matthew’s deep affection, passion, and tenderness, and genuine care about him. When it’s more or less bearable, Will allows Matthew – who is a light sleeper and wakes up almost every time together with him – to hug him and soothe him, and make him a hot cacao or some daisy tea to drink while Matthew changes the bed sheets. Sometimes they talk about what Will has seen in his dreams before going to bed again, sometimes not. Sometimes Will needs to be alone or just with the dogs to calm down, and Matthew accepts it, because Will does the same for him when he asks him to. Btw. Matthew doesn’t mind his hyperhidrosis, even when they start to sleep in one bed. When Will tries to apologize for the inconvenience, Matthew replies that he used to be a nurse, which means that he has a high tolerance of these things. Matthew has disturbing and/or frightening dreams, too. He either dreams of his turbulent past, or of hurting Will or losing him somehow. As he grows fond of their dogs, he starts to see nightmares featuring them as well, but usually it’s about the mistakes he made or of the life he has built with Will being destroyed. There was a truly terrible nightmare once, in which his pyromania and arsonist background had combined with his fear of hurting/losing Will: Matthew couldn’t find him in a burning building. He woke up in tears of horror, pain and guilt, and couldn’t pull himself together for the next couple of minutes, and scared Will – who until then couldn’t have imagined Matthew being so heartbroken and fragile – shitless, because his empathy allowed him to see that Matthew was basically bleeding with sorrow. Matthew was deeply ashamed of this incident in the morning, but after that Will suggested that Matthew tried dream analysis – on his own or with him together, if that’d be not too intruding – and Matthew has been gladly sharing with him the contents of his dreams ever since, and not just of his nightmares, because he loves Will’s insight. It also gave Will the opportunity to learn more about Matthew’s past.

I hope you like it and thank you for your interest! <333 Feel free to ask me about any specific headcanons any time. :3

#brownham #headcanon #hannibal fandom #hannibal nbc #will graham #matthew brown

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im-999 · 7 years ago

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Happy Holidays everyone! Have some Eggnog or Ignoct or both!

This past Sunday I finally managed to complete all the endings for Episode Ignis, and admittedly its put my mind in a strange place this entire week. Frankly, I’m still not sure I’ve fully processed it yet…but wow, if someone had told me last year that this 2 hour DLC was going to hold a mirror up to all the unpleasant emotions I had bottled up 6 months prior, I would’ve stared at you like I did that 4-legged chocobo in Assassin’s Creed Origins.

[Episode Ignis ~ Leveling up my Appreciation for Ignis with Overdue Sad Feels and a Side of Spoilers]

As much as I do love Ignis, I have a terrible confession to get off my conscious…I’ve always harbored the sentiment that his characterization in the main game was lackluster. He felt purposely shallow in the sense that he was designed to be smart, strong, devoted but above all “reserved” for unclear reasons, allowing the viewer to freely project whatever sort of headcanon you want unto him. While this has led me to read some of the most amazing fan-fiction I’ve read and make some amazing friends, a part of me also just couldn’t shake the feeling that this was such a lazy, cheap way of producing a popular character. Simply put, Iggy appeared super off-the-shelf...the stoic, handsome butler, type. It annoyed me that his character was left open to such a wide interpretation...he could literally be anything…from emotionally clueless to romantic, dorky to suave, warm to cold, A to Z…basically everything under the rainbow could’ve worked.

So when it was revealed that each Chocobro would be getting their own DLC episode, my sole wish for Iggy’s was that it would explore the parts of his personality and motivations that he allegedly kept under wraps during the main game. And indeed, we get to see Ignis’s emotions unravel spectacularly in his attempts to save Noct from physical harm as well as from his destined fate. And just…how he copes with the failure of the latter. It was everything I had hoped they’d explore.

Playing through the dlc, I had expected to shed some tears here and there. But by the end, I was heavily crippled by an overwhelming personal sadness...because witnessing Ignis’s journey was like seeing myself behave with my dad’s struggle and untimely passing from an aggressive cancer 6 months ago. And never in a million years did I think this DLC was going to make me face that again.

There were countless times where I went through the same motions Ignis did in the main route where he flinched, grit his teeth, or looked down, before telling Noct that he was going to support him no matter what. I could feel him feel terrible saying that…knowing the way it was all going to go down in the end. Because really, that’s all you can do. And it really really sucked.

And then there were the times I fully related to that explosive anger Ignis let manifest in the alternate route. How he believed it was utterly unfair for Noct to have to die in order to save everyone. The amount of despair Ignis experienced in that moment. And above all, the hypocrisy he displayed. How in one instance Ignis told Ravus he needed to “come to his senses,” and then in the next you saw him acting the exact same way when confronted by Ardyn. That too, especially reminded me of how I was during some of the tougher days of my dad’s illness.

Solipsistic as this sounds, Iggy’s lead up to the Ardyn fight in the alternate route might have been that watershed moment where he transcended the JRPG Sidekick Type X to an actual, believable human for me. I know it definitely made some hard core Ignis fans uncomfortable and led them to feel that he acted out of character…but quite honestly, given that he was physically isolated from everything and everyone else at the time, I found it entirely plausible for him to let out his frustrations in such a raw “caged animal” manner. Hypocrisy and acting out of narrow self-interest aren’t sexy, endearing things to see...its very rare to see them in fictional characters, which is precisely why I appreciated that the seemingly stable Ignis displayed them, when he was trapped with Ardyn. It made him so much more relatable as a human to me rather than the stereotypical “I am a good guy therefore I must automatically care about everyone” bullshit that proliferates most fictional media these days. In a way, it was cathartic.

As to the content of the endings themselves, I don’t particularly care to argue which one was more or less valid, nor do I care to dissect the semantics of the dialogue in every single language to find a single “true” interpretation. Personally speaking, I was never really moved by the ending of the game due to the way the story abruptly transitioned from the “revenge against the empire” to “sacrifice” without so much as a proper explanation until close to the end. And as much as I appreciate SE trying to improve the later parts of the game with their updates, sorry to say, but nothing really came close to blowing me out of the water. If anything, their attempts to explain things either opened up more questions or created more plot holes.

While I definitely felt sad that Noctis died to bring back the light, the sheer lack of emotional territory covered in the events prior ultimately killed off the rest of the impact. How did the rest of the Chocobros’ take Noct giving up his life without so much as a peep? I half expected Gladio to jump up and rage, for Prompto to cry and beg him to reconsider...but no...we only got a few silent tears around. It seemed as if there were so many things that happened either off screen or they didn’t think about when it came to the end...again it all kind of fell flat and empty.

So that said, for the two Episode Ignis endings, I did not expect either one to flawlessly line up to the rest of the game’s details and plot points. I was just happy that both of them managed to get across Ignis’s deepest feelings across with relative consistency…that he wanted to support Noct wherever he ended up…even if it meant the afterlife it seems.

To end this on a slight humorous note, as of now I still can’t fathom the irony. How the one main character in this game I thought was the most two dimensional, ended up being the one I could relate to most in the end....seriously. X_X

Going forward, I’m still thinking about the game a lot, and given that there’s still more content to come in 2018, I hope to delve into a new game + soon, armed with my new found appreciation of Ignis!

In any case...I just want to give him a nice big hug, rub his back, and gel his hair back up, so he doesn’t look like Bieber anymore. Don’t shoot! :D

#this is why i'm banned from all the coolest ignis clubs in town #if you made it all the way to the end please take an ignis-shaped cookie on your way out #glad to get this off my chest #ffxv #final fantasy xv

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sly2o · 7 years ago

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Unlocking Season 4′s potential: a Riley story (I swear this isn’t crack)

TL;DR: I think Riley was supposed to be a LI for Clarke, and Monty + Harper filled a story-line that Bryan + Miller was supposed to have, and that Miller was supposed to go to space.

We know that when the actor who plays Bryan abruptly left the show to pursue another role, which resulted in the parts written for him being given to a new character named Riley. So with the information we have, what was Bryan supposed to be doing in 4A and 4B?

Well first let’s ask ourselves…

What was Riley supposed to be doing before this shift in plot line?

Answer: Clarke.

I call forward as evidence:

1. The awkward hug.

Clarke clearly recognizes Riley, and clearly has a history with him. This is never resolved (and evidently never will be). Why waste the audience’s time with this?

2. Niylah’s out of character return

When the actor who got cast as Riley had to shift into Bryan’s role in 4A, someone else had to shift into what had originally been carved out as the Riley role. Hence the return of Niylah.

Why on Earth would Niylah want to climb into bed (so to speak) with the very kru that killed her family? Why would she want to tend bar for the people who executed her father? After the violent interaction she had with Skaikru in Season 3 where they stormed her home - which resulted in it being attacked by ALIE - why would she want to be anywhere near Skaikru ever again?

Clarke’s magic ladybits can only explain so many of these questions without some very explicitly stated plot - and helping make rations is hardly good enough.

How Niylah turned around to accepting Skaikru is 100% glossed over... almost as if it wasn’t planned for.

3. Niylah’s extremely lacking season 4 character arc.

If Niylah’s presence in the Skaikru area was planned all along - why didn’t she play a role in helping free Bellamy in 4x11? Surely she’d want to help all the people she had traded with in the past survive the radiation blast.

If her presence was planned all along, why did she play a bizarrely helpless role in stopping Illian when he arrived at Arkadia to blow up the place? What happened to the capable Niylah who lied to the Prince of Azgeda in the premiere of Season 3?

98% of Niylah’s role is season 4 was to be a place of comfort for Clarke to go to, where Clarke could exposition her internal thought process.

Because that was what Riley’s role was supposed to be - and it would make sense in the context of a new character whose role was crafted to serve this piece of plot.

4. Timing of Riley’s and Niylah’s appearances

Niylah doesn’t show up until episode 5, which is a few episodes after Riley is introduced. In theory, if Riley had stayed in his original role this would have been enough time for Clarke to catch up with Riley and do her usual grief bang move with her old love interest.

Furthermore, the fact that Riley gets a reaction, introduction, and hug - and Niylah just sort of shows up should raise some alarm bells about how she was not originally supposed to be in this season.

What was Nathan supposed to be doing this season?

Last year Jarod Joseph tweeted he would be back in Season 4 in a “big way”… and yet the season showed us otherwise. Aside from break up with Bryan, sharing moon-eyes with Jackson, and being a guy with a gun when you need a guy with a gun.

So what was he supposed to be doing?

Answer: part of the Monty/Harper 4B plot.

Supporting evidence:

1. Riley being built up in 4A and then being sidelined in 4B just to die.

The writers had to dispose of Riley after he filled in the role of Bryan in 4A. As much as we all love Riley, let’s be real, he was never Spacekru material. There also wasn’t space to resolve his character in the finale (see below) because Niylah had taken his role so he just got... disposed of.

2. Bryan’s planned path of descent in 4A.

We know that the episode where Bellamy talks down Riley from assassinating Roan was supposed to be Bryan. We know that Bryan was headed to a darker place with respect to his mental health. The break up with Nathan (or what was at least going to be the start of a line of major fights) likely didn’t help either. Season 3 had already established that there was strain in this relationship (Bryan and Miller taking different sides in the Pike/Kane leadership) so this also wasn’t coming out of nowhere. Speaking of which…

The scene where Harper accidentally is linked to an Arkadian dying was probably Bryan’s last straw. But for Harper it was... the only straw? How did she break so fast? Being cut from the list could have added to that... but it seems a bit like she was shoehorned into a role meant for someone else.

3. People arguing that they want to live in 4A and then deciding to die in 4B?????

Both Harper and Riley are a part of the mob that are pissed at Clarke for creating the list and excluding them. Now just a few weeks later they are OK with dying? That’s not right. How did their anger turn in that direction so quickly?

4. Monty on double comfort duty at the DNR den

For me this one of the most compelling reasons for why Harper was supposed to be Bryan.

I believe Monty and Harper were still supposed to both be at Arkadia, but they were both supposed to be there because of Jasper’s importance to Monty. This would have been mirrored by Nathan and Bryan also being there and having a very similar fight to the one Harper and Monty had in the actual episode. By having these two pairs there (Monty + Jasper, Nathan + Bryan) it would have really drawn out the parallels between these journeys with respect to mental health.

But instead we essentially had an understaffed Monty running back and forth between two people to comfort them which made for awkward pacing during the episode.

The impacts of Bryan’s replacement on the finale.

Nathan and Bryan were supposed to go to space.

If the above scenarios had come to pass, then Nathan and Bryan would have been with the Arkadia group, meaning they would have been able to go to space. If this had happened, it would have really helped frame Octavia as alone again underground isolated from her peers.I also get the impression that Nathan + Dad Miller were filling in a storyline that someone else was meant to have, to echo back to Tor Lenkin and his kid and really emphasize that “are we really doing this again?” parallel. I think the kid everyone joked that Jaha adopted was supposed to be that kid. Instead that new Tor and his kid got sort of shuffled to the side as the writers scrambled to shoehorn in how they would save Nathan when he had been left off the list.

Emori was supposed to be kicked out of the second dawn bunker.

The Arkadians pushing around and then kicking out Niylah didn’t make very much sense... Why would her [grounder] people abandon her? Because she spent 2 months hanging out over at Arkadia? That seems a little bit like an over-reaction. Are we supposed to believe she was so bad at trading that she had no favours she could use to get picked by her people? I hardly believe that. Again - what happened to the Niylah who could boldly lie in the face of the prince of Azgeda?

Now go back to the finale and imagine it was Emori who got kicked out by the Arkadians — this is a highly believable scenario because Emori has no people to speak for her since she was cast out for being different. John following his heart again because they are going to make it together in the bunker. Clarke giving her helmet to Emori would have meant so. much. more. on the heels of Emori being thrown out of the second dawn bunker, combined with how Clarke used the nightblood on herself instead of Emori. And then Emori saying “can’t we wait a little longer?” for Clarke after all that? Ugh my emotions.

...And now the crack

(Look I have no self control - I can’t write meta without including crack)

Was Clarke supposed to be pregnant?

YEAH I KNOW, OK, BUT HEAR ME OUT.

1. Why has Jason insisted on calling Madi “Clarke’s child” as opposed to her little sister? Is it a hang-up from where the plot was supposed to go?

2. Consider this: what if for “science reasons” the nightblood only worked because of the child inside her? Quite frankly we had an entire episode around why nightblood can’t be made in a laboratory on Earth, and it was enraging to see it work in the end because that means more people could have survived. It would have been much more satisfactory to see that it was Clarke’s unique scenario that that saved her life. (Also explains the throw up in the finale). Plus it would help stress in season 5 that Clarke owes her very life to her child which is why she always puts the child first. It also explains why it was six years of time gap. A five year old (remember, we lose almost a year because pregnancy time) is old enough/big enough to get into trouble on their own. Four years old is kinda pushing it on the “this is way too young” spectrum.

Some Last Thoughts

Something I hope I haven’t stirred up, but that I will mention in case I did, is that I hope this doesn’t come off as anti-niylah/niylarke. My complaints are really that Niylah and her relationship with Clarke could have been done way better in this season. Ultimately it was great relationship for Clarke to have (and honestly, probably a better pairing than Riley + Clarke would have been), but the execution was really off for all the reasons I named above.

I think a lot of the pacing problems with the season can be traced back to Bryan’s exit. It makes me ask - why didn’t they just recast? But I guess that’s not really something they do with this show (except for Madi?? IDK)

I’m sure there are other pieces to this puzzle I am missing, but I find this concept so easy to lock in with the season that I just can’t help but believe it was what was originally written.

Either way it’s unprovable and not canon... but I thought I’d share my speculation for what might have been with you all. Hope you enjoyed.

#the 100 #the 100 meta #the 100 speculation #the 100 riley #clarke griffin #nathan miller #I wrote a version of this before the finale #and then became doubly convinced it was true after watching the finale #anyways this is all speculation at this point since it's entirely unprovable #but I wanted to share

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littleshebear · 7 years ago

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Destiny fanfiction: Memories...Someone We’ll Never Meet pt. 4.

Ao3 Link

Part one | Part two | Part 3 |

Long Hiatus on this one but we’re back! The Awoken have arrived on Earth and things are not going to plan.

Sofia is twelve years old. There is blue sky above her, earth beneath and she is soaking wet. She kneels on all fours, her fingers sinking into wet sand, while her mouth is open in a silent gasp. She cannot breathe. Underneath the panic, a small voice at the back of her mind wonders if this is what getting spaced feels like. She feels a sudden jolt, there is something thumping into her back. She starts coughing, a harsh, hacking sound that is interrupted by another whack between her shoulder blades.

“Breathe, Sofie, come on!” It’s Mama, she keeps slapping her on her back, hard, until Sofia convulses, bringing up a stream of water and bile. She wheezes, then coughs even more violently than before. Her throat is burning and her eyes are streaming with tears but at least her stubborn lungs are finally filling.

Mama wraps her arms around her, pulling her back into a kneeling position. She drops frantic kisses on the top of Sofia’s head in between assurances that she’s okay, they’re okay, everything is going to be okay.

Mama releases her from the embrace and comes round to face her. She cups Sofie’s tear-streaked cheeks in in her hands and locks her gaze with hers..

“Stay here.” There’s a quaver in Mama’s voice but she sounds determined. “I’m going back for your father, don’t move.”

Sofia nods, tries to speak but only manages another coughing fit. She flops back on her heels, watching her mother wade back into the water and towards their stricken ship. One of the engines belches smoke into the air, forming a black column that reaches far up into the sky. They came down in a shallow sea, the belly of the ship resting on a sandbank while the nosecone is tipped forward into the water. There are low, sickening sounds of twisting, groaning metal coming from the ship. It is sinking even further? Sofia thought she had heard someone yelling something about a hull breach when the Fallen had attacked them. Maybe it is taking on more water.

Sofia sends out a desperate mental plea to Papa, begging him to tell her he got out of the cockpit, that Mama won’t have to risk going back into the submerged ship, that she was not lying when she everything would be okay. Sofia immediately winces after opening her mind, she can’t hear Papa, or Mama. If they were answering her attempt to Link, they are utterly drowned out by the cacophony of terror emanating from the survivors. She hastily closes her thoughts off, pulling her knees up to her chest and clamping her hands over her ears. The noise in her head dulls somewhat but it does little to drown out the shouts and screams from the survivors scrambling towards dry land. Some thrash ineffectually, trying to learn to swim after a lifetime of rationed water, while others cling to floating debris. Sofia glances around to see a group pulling a woman out of the water and up the beach. It looks like Mistress Karn. She is not moving.

Her attention is suddenly diverted by the sound of her mother yelling. Sofia follows the sound of her voice to see her fighting with a man who is trying to drag her back to dry land.

“Let me go!” Mama shouts, clawing at his arms, which are clamped firmly around her waist.

“They’re gone, you can’t go back in, it’s too dangerous!” The man tugs at Mama, almost lifting her off her feet.

“You don’t know that.” Mama replies through gritted teeth, straining against him.

“If the impact didn’t do for them they’ll have drowned by now, don’t go back in there!”

Sofia’s stomach lurches and her blood runs cold. If she was shivering before, she is shaking uncontrollably now. She tries Linking with Papa again, doing her best to ignore the fear and misery being broadcast by the others around her. She wordlessly screams to him over and over, receiving only silence in return.

“Please let me go.” Mama is not struggling anymore, she just leans away from her well-meaning captor and towards the ship.

“Do you want your daughter to lose her mother too?” When he says this, the last of the fight seems to leave Mama. Her shoulders drop and she removes the man’s hands from her waist. She wipes a hand down her face before giving him a forceful shove to the chest. The fight was not completely gone from her after all. The man topples over backwards, landing with an undignified splash. Mama trudges back towards Sofia without giving him a second glance.

“Mama?” Sofia whimpers, looking up at her mother with wide, pleading eyes. Mama’s only reply is to kneel beside Sofia and gather her into her arms. She hugs her tightly and rocks her back and forth. Sofia clings back, her still painful breathing now coming in harsh sobs. She gives in to her tears, it will not matter if she cries down here. There is no shortage of water. There is so much of it, it terrifies her.

~*~

Once the panic died down, some of the (now ex) Corsairs set to work establishing a defensive perimeter. They pace back and forth, eyes on the horizon, checking and re-checking their weapons to make sure the water has not rendered them completely useless. Other survivors dug foxholes and formed make-shift barricades from debris should the Fallen who attacked them come back for their prize. They would not be hard to find, the smoke billowing from the damaged engine is a signal fire to anyone around. Others still comb the shoreline picking up anything useful that may have washed ashore, while the braver ones wade further into the water to retrieve salvage.

Sofia trails behind her mother who is scouring the tideline for anything she can repair or put to use. The tide is coming in, covering the ship even more. Sofia drags her feet, leaving scuff marks in the sand. The only time she moves quickly is to avoid the water when it threatens to lap at her feet. She wants nothing more than to retreat to high ground but she is not willing to let Mama out of her sight. Her head is throbbing and there is a dull ache in her chest. Is it meant to hurt like this? She finds herself thinking about Marcus. Did he find it physically painful when his father died?

“Mama?” Sofia asks in a dull voice. “Why do I feel so heavy?”

“It’s because you are heavier, sweetheart.” Mama places her arm around Sofia’s shoulders. “It’s the gravity, it’s different down here. You’ll get used to it.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She knew that. Papa had told her that things would feel different on Earth. She had just forgotten.

“Why don’t you get some rest?”

Sofia shakes her head. “I want to help.”

“Why don’t you go sit with the other kids?” Mama suggests gently. They got a fire going, it’s warmer.”

Sofia shakes her head and disguises a shiver. “I’m fine.” She spots something in the distance, bobbing back and forth as the water laps against it. It is her toy rabbit. He is waterlogged and filthy but it is definitely him. She crosses over to him, gingerly fishes him out of the water before wringing him out. Tears prick at her eyes again, she feels like the pathetic state of her childhood toy is reflective of their current plight. She blinks furiously, trying to fight back the tears, while her brow knots together, making her headache even worse. She should not be getting this emotional over a stuffed toy. She is far too old for him really but she had so wanted him with her when they boarded their transport at the start of this ill-fated diaspora. When the Fallen had fired upon them, she had clung to him for dear life. She could not be sure exactly when she had lost him. Probably when the emergency doors were forced open and the water had rushed in, cold and relentless. But he had come back to her somehow, and she was glad of it.

Sofia feels Mama’s hand on the back of her head, gently stroking her hair.

“Oh, you found Peter.”

Sofia nods sadly and sniffles before trying to brush the worst of the sand and grime from his fur.

“It’s okay we’ll get him cleaned up. Why don’t you take him back to the fire, get him dried-”

Mama is cut off by a sharp crashing sound coming from the sky, followed by a low rumble. For a moment, Sofia wonders if it is thunder. No, that is not how thunder works. There would be clouds if it were thunder but the sky is a brilliant blue. The only other thing it could be is a ship entering the atmosphere.

Mama grabs Sofia’s hand and begins running, dragging her along with her up the beach.

“Is it the Fallen?” Sofia cries, “Did they come back?”

“It’ll be okay,” Mama assures her, herding her towards where the other children are gathered behind a makeshift barricade made from debris. “We’ve got weapons, we can fight them off.” Sofia is not exactly convinced by her mother’s insistence that everything will be fine. Sofia can smell the panic in the air, while sharp outbursts of fear and despair pierce the beleaguered shields she has placed around her mind.

Inhuman shrieks begin to sound in the distance, followed by shouts and gunfire. One of the younger children starts crying with a high-pitched keening sound. Sofia wraps her arms around the child and begins intoning exactly the same lies that her mother had just told her. Sofia glances up at Mama. One of the corsairs-turned-guards has given her a side-arm, which she wields with obvious uncertainty. Mama shoots Sofia a trembling smile. Sofia does not need to Link with mama to know she is afraid but there is unmistakable pride in her expression too.

The ex-corsair ducks out from their cover and starts firing. Sofia starts and gasps. She was not prepared for how loud the guns would be. The other kids are weeping now too and frankly, Sofia wants to join them. She can brave though. She can still be brave.

Her courageous resolve lasts another thirty seconds or so, until their protector’s head snaps backward, before he topples over, landing on his back with a sickening thud. The atmosphere in their little shelter gives way to outright panic. While the other children scream and surge to the back of the foxhole, Sofia feels an odd calm come over her. Her world slows and she focusses on the small details around her. The thin plume of smoke rising from the centre of their dead guard’s forehead. The residual twitch in his fingertips. The uncontrollable tremble in Mama’s hand even as she swears she’ll keep them safe. The pain in her arms from the other child digging his fingernails into her skin.

There is a tiny gap in the barricade at Sofia’s eye level. She stares through it at the advancing Fallen. She has never seen one before, not in the flesh but it is not fear she feels now, or even anger. She is confused. Why are they doing this? Why did they attack their ship? Why did they murder that man? Why can they not just let them be?

The Vandals in the distance look ready to close on their position when they are suddenly peppered with gunfire coming from the right. One of them is hit in the head, which explodes with an almost comical popping sound. The Fallen turn their attention to this new threat but immediately begin to retreat. There is an armored figure charging towards them. Sofia’s curiosity and confusion increase. Why are the Fallen fleeing? This is just one person, what could they possibly do? The runner suddenly begins to glow white and pale blue, tendrils of electricity converging in their fists. They leap into the air, closing the gap between them and the retreating Fallen by tracing a graceful arc through the air. They then plummet to the earth, slamming their electrified fists into the ground. The Fallen glow brilliantly for a fraction of a second before being vapourised.

Sofia realises she has been holding her breath. She exhales slowly, unable to comprehend what she is seeing. She watches this strange, armoured soldier casting around for another opponent. They show no inclination to run for cover. They clearly do not fear another attack, quite the opposite. They stand defiantly out in this open ground, brazenly inviting the Fallen to try their luck a second time.

They begin walking towards their shelter. Whoever this person is, they are utterly unlike the soldiers of the Reef with their elegant uniforms and compact side-arms. This person’s armour is hefty plate metal, while they carry a massive machine gun on their back. Their face is obscured by a helm that looks like the sort of thing a Knight from the Old Earth stories would wear. Once they are a little closer they remove that helm, revealing jaw-length auburn hair and grey eyes decorated with black kohl. She is definitely human but no human should be able to do the things Sofia just saw.

The cowering Awoken and the warrior regard each other in curious silence for a few moments, both parties unsure of what to do next. The armored woman eventually takes the lead. She waves; a hand that only moments before had dealt out lightning and death, now raised in greeting.

#destiny fanfiction #my writing #oc: sofia #destiny oc's #the awoken

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universally-the-same · 5 years ago

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Body acceptance and shame

For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that I’ve been working on self-love and self-acceptance for several years now. And in that time, I think it’s fair to say that I’ve grown in leaps and bounds in this area. Especially the area of self-acceptance.

For those who don’t know, for most of my life, I have been incredibly self-critical. Learning to let go of such extreme levels of perfectionism has felt so huge. And it IS huge! But recently, I’ve felt an even bigger shift in the self-love department. And while I feel that self-love and self-acceptance certainly fall into this shift, I think it would be more fitting to refer to this shift as body acceptance, because frankly… that’s what I’m talking about.

BODY ACCEPTANCE It’s a tough topic to discuss and one that I still feel pretty damn vulnerable putting out there to the world, but I think it’s an important topic. Recently my neighbor was nominated for a community award and the local news came out to do a story on him. I immediately agreed to be part of the story because he’s a great neighbor, I was excited for him, and I wanted to support him.

Later that night, all the mind chatter started. I started worrying about how I would look on camera. I don’t know if the rest of the world has this reality, but when I look in the mirror I see a very different person than who I see in photographs and video footage of myself.

The big day came and at that point I had pretty much talked myself out of participating but that morning I decided to “get ready” just in case. Mid-morning, I heard a knock on my door. It was his wife letting me know that if I wanted to be on TV now was the time. I admitted to her that I was scared, but she got me to come out anyway.

The journalist and camera man had us interact in different ways, but when all was said and done I didn’t feel very secure about the end result. At one point they had me up on my front porch while the camera man was filming from the ground. I mean… I know from my own experience that that happens to be one of the least flattering angles to be caught at. But at this point, it was what it was, and it was just a matter of seeing how they put it all together.

I worried about telling people about the new-story because I was afraid to have them see it before I did, but in the end I decided to put a post on Facebook the night before it aired. My logic to this decision was (a) the story is not about me, it’s about him, (b) the people I know, know what I look like… probably better than I do, and (c) I love my friends and family regardless of their size, color, race, gender, etc. So in theory, shouldn’t they love me in the same way?

The day of the story, I waited filled with equal emotions of anxiety and excitement, but the story never aired. We never got an explanation so we figured they decided not to run it, and that it wasn’t meant to be. The following week my neighbor messaged me that they would be running the story later that week.

I sat down to watch the story, curious to see how they edited the piece and put it all together, but terrified to see how I would look through the lens of the news camera. It turned out to be a sweet little feel-good piece, and as I watched it, it was as if I was observing the piece from another person’s eyes.

The story engulfed me, and “that girl” was just a small piece of it. I didn’t judge or criticize the girl I was seeing, and I was shocked to experience body acceptance on that large of a level. I was in such disbelief that I didn’t hate what I saw, that I actually backed the story up and played the frames I was in, in slow-motion in a really fucked-up attempt to find something to criticize.

And this was the only part of what aired that I didn’t like. I became angry that my first reaction upon feeling body acceptance was not to simply accept the fact that I was actually accepting myself, but that the natural inclination was to go back and try to find something to tear myself down.

And I will admit that while viewing the story in slow motion, there was a moment of uncertainty in my mind when I reached in to give him a hug. You could see my side profile and my clothed belly. But in that moment, instead of being repulsed, or disappointed, or ashamed, this little voice sounded in my head telling me… “it’s just a belly”.

A realization that hit me so hard and still has me reeling. It’s just a belly. We all have one. They come in different shapes, different sizes, different colors. But… we all have a belly.

I had a similar experience in yoga class the other week, but I didn’t pay much attention to it at the time. It wasn’t until the news story opened my eyes that I now see the importance of it.

In yoga we are constantly transitioning into different poses. I wear a long t-shirt to help prevent exposed skin, but inevitably it ends up happening. Every time I realize it, it’s feels like I am committing this horrible sin. How dare I expose a 1″ x 4″ strip of skin to my classmates. God forbid, you know… because, “I’m a big girl, and big girls aren’t supposed to show their fat. No one wants to see that, even if it is by accident.”

Well, the other day I was in yoga class and I had just got done transitioning through some warrior poses that required a lot of stretching, reaching, and folding at the waist. My shirt inevitably inched its way up. I caught sight of it in the mirror and for the first time I wasn’t mortified by this. It was another moment of… it’s just skin.

And after sitting with the impact of the “it’s just a belly” statement, I became more receptive to the lesson behind the “it’s just skin” comment that I had heard in my head. Similarly to the belly, we all have skin. Again, it comes in different colors. Some skin is tight and toned, other skin is flabby. Some skin is decorated with freckles, or stretchmarks, or battle scars. Some skin has sun damage, while other skin has been alive for decades. But in the end, it’s just another body part that makes us human. It’s a showcase of individuality in a way that makes us universally the same.

SHAME I don’t know if it’s the optimist in me, but while growing up, I was able to see good parts of myself, but I never liked my body as a whole. I thought I had pretty eyes, I liked my larger breasts, and at some point I started liking my legs.

But there were so many other things that I didn’t like. I hated the rolls around my middle, I hated that my thighs touched, my hair was 85% straight with a 13% wave and a 2% curl. Part of the 2% curl were the cowlicks that made up most of my bangs and would transform into devil horns whenever I would sweat or it was humid. I also had these two teeth that looked like tiny fangs. As my teen years progressed, I was hit with acne. It was just one body image issue after another.

Looking back on it now, I think a lot of it is the growing pains that probably everyone goes through, but I was one of those kids who was teased a lot in school. I went to a small grade school (K-8). My graduating year there were nine of us in the class, seven of which were boys. While I am grateful for my parochial school upbringing, there is always good and bad in every situation. Yin and Yang.

While the small class size was great for teacher-student attention, I believe it emphasized the cliques even more strongly. The pool of kids to pick on was much smaller, so it was easier to become the target. Between the bullying, and the physical and mental abuse I was going through at my mother’s house, I became very good at trying to blend in. That’s what you do when you are ridiculed for being yourself. I learned to adapt to my surroundings and situations. But this also shattered my confidence.

Looking back on pictures of me at that time, I’ll admit that I was bigger than the other kids, but I wasn’t fat. I didn’t know that at the time though. I believed all the name calling. At that age, why wouldn’t you? I mean from that perspective, I can remember feeling that if people didn’t want to play with me, and were calling me names… there must be something wrong with me.

I now know this isn’t true, but back then it was very hard to believe that. Especially when your mother is telling you the same things the kids are. Luckily my father was always a source of love. But he was concerned with my weight too and although his concerns came from that love, the fact that there was concern in the first place just further reinforced it.

As I’ve been going through this intuitive eating journey, and trying to reconnect to my emotions, one that I was having a hard time relating to was shame. It felt like such a foreign thing to me, until I saw myself on the news. During that moment of true, authentic, all-in self-love and being secure with my body for the first time since I was probably six or seven, suddenly I realized that I had been living my life in shame. As strange as it sounds, the reason I couldn’t identify with it, is because it was something that became such a part of me.

Earlier this year, my therapist and I discussed the possibility of some deep rooted subconscious self-worth issues. Thinking back on all the times I tried to make myself smaller so others wouldn’t see me, or how I would apologetically move out of people’s way – not simply for the sake of being polite, but because I felt that I was taking up too much room. Every time that I wanted to speak up for myself but wouldn’t open my mouth because I was afraid of being heard. Every time that I allowed myself to follow the crowd because I didn’t want to draw more attention to myself for being different. Nor, did I have the confidence to be different. In all of these circumstances I gave away my power. And in all of these circumstances it was based on shame and never believing that I was good enough.

And while we are on the subject of shame, I want to acknowledge that the stories we tell ourselves based on the stories told to us by others constantly feeds that. Based on conversations I’ve had with people (various doctor’s, physical therapists, and other professionals) I’ve been led to believe that my arch/tendinitis issue and my knee issue are both based on my weight. But the other day I was looking at pictures of myself as a teenager (the point where I was the skinniest and most fit I’ve been in my life).

As I sat there looking at the pictures, I started seeing the same patterns in the way I hold my body as “skinny person” that I do as a “large person”. Would losing weight help? I’m not saying it wouldn’t. But here I’ve been telling myself that it’s because of my weight that these things happened. When in reality my body was showing the signs of the issues back then.

Finding those pictures and remembering back to that age, I truly believe that these issues would have sprung up anyway. The weight may have intensified it, or possibly triggered it earlier, but I’ve been able to release that story from my head which has allowed the self-acceptance to grow a little more.

I think we so desperately want to have answers for everything, that we automatically believe stories that are told to us. Especially when they come from sources that are reputable, or people we trust. I’m not trying to discount people in the medical field, but this realization made me stop and think. Doctors, and everyone really, they all make their assumptions based off of a meeting with you. It could be a 15 minute appointment in their office, it could be someone that you see once a week like a banker, someone you see every two months like a hairdresser. It could be someone you talk to everyday – a close friend or family member.

And while all of these relationships are important in one way or another, they are not with you every second of the day. They are not living in your body. More likely than not, they haven’t known you your whole life. And while their insight and their feedback in important, we need to remember that in the end, we need to make decisions about what is best for us, what we believe, and the stories that we will tell ourselves based off of what we actually know.

Don’t get me wrong. This is hard, and probably a lot of times, we aren’t necessarily going to know what is best for us, or what we believe. So the best thing we can do is go with what we feel is the right thing in this moment. But that doesn’t mean that it’s over. That choice is not final. By staying open-minded and aware, we can still allow ourselves to take in new information. We are allowed to change our minds, to change our beliefs, and to change our stories.

One thing that this weight loss journey has taught me, especially as I’ve been reading though old posts lately, is that every time I made a decision, I did what felt right in that moment. I currently believe that every diet that I’ve been on, I was meant to be on. I believe that by living through my collected experiences, it has helped give me personal knowledge to understand this world of intuitive eating and be able to grasp some of the concepts better.

I also believe that I was born in this body for a reason. I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason, I’m sure this is one belief that will stand the test of time. And throughout my life, I’ve said multiple times that I struggle to lose weight for a reason. I had no idea what that reason was, or why. But I feel like the puzzle pieces are starting to fit together and it’s all making sense.

I believe I was put here to understand and help other’s see that diversity is not just about race, gender, age, or ability… it’s about size too. In a world where we are pushing to celebrate individuality, we need to realize that body size is just as diverse as skin shades.

*this blog post was originally posted on my My Curvy Journey blog on 6/29/2019 and moved to my Universally the Same blog.

#be you #body acceptance #body awareness #body diversity #love yourself #shame

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weareonereacts · 8 years ago

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Welcome to BigHit: Chapter 2

<< Previous Chapter || Next Chapter >>

Word Count: 4.8K

Genre: Fluff

Character: Jimin + Reader

A/N: Super glad I was able to edit this in time yall hahaha. I have been doing a lot more writing lately so hopefully no more delay’s in updates. BUT! Good news is that I have finished writing every part for this series =3

~Heather

Trepidation.

There was no other word that could possibly describe what you were feeling at the moment. You had spent hours practicing Jimin’s song but you still didn’t feel like the song was right. Mainly because you felt the song was perfect for Jimin and Jimin only. You took a deep breath as you sat and waited; your coach had yet to turn up to the practice room to hear you sing.

Turning your wrist towards you, your eyes met the face that just stared right back. It was ten minutes past your scheduled time and quite frankly it was making you more and more agitated. Your leg started bouncing in the chair, your nerves slowly taking over any rational part in your body.

“Hey.” Startled, you jumped out of your chair and stood ramrod straight as you spun to face the voice that had drifted into your ears. You had been so consumed by your nerves that you hadn’t noticed Jimin making an entrance into the room.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. You’re performing for the coach today right?” You nodded in response. “Oh. Well don’t be nervous about it. I’m sure you’ll do just fine on the song.” His lips slowly stretched into a smile once again and it had your heart racing.

“I’m trying. But it’s hard to contain my nerves when I’m sitting in here alone.” Jimin pursed his lips, his eyes squinting in thought as he nodded his head, his arms crossed loosely across his chest.

“You know what I find helps with my nerves?” You stood silent, waiting for the answer that would magically save your life right now. He didn’t speak though, he quietly waited for an answer.

“What?” He moved around the chair and easily flung an arm over your shoulders as he stood next to you.

“A good laugh.” Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion. A good laugh? How was he going to manage that?

There wasn’t exactly enough time to process what had happened but his arm had left your shoulders and sunk down, his hands gripping your sides and your body tensing up. You screamed out in a joyful scream and hunched your body away from him, spinning to run away from his fingers. You hadn’t expected him to tickle you but honestly it was a pleasant surprise.

You giggled as he grabbed your sides again and pulled you back to him, one arm freely wrapping around your waist and pinning you in place as his other hand tickled your side. You squirmed in his arms as laugh after laugh was forced from your body. Most guys didn’t know how to tickle properly, their greedy fingers digging into your sides relentlessly as they thought you were having fun. It was a normal reaction for someone to laugh when being tickled but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt as well. Jimin was careful when tickling you, his fingers simply prodding at your sides as you squirmed making the action twice as more ticklish than normal.

His chuckles were deep as he laughed with you, his chest vibrating against your back. Your mind was reeling with ways to get out of his hold before you peed your pants from laughing so hard. When he stopped your body slumped to the ground, your smile wide on your face as you laid there in bliss.

“Did you seriously cry?” His laughter was still there and his smile never ceased as he sat down next to you.

“Hush. I’m only crying because you were tickling me.” There were murmured voices outside the door and you quickly shot of the ground, scooping up the crumpled sheet music off the floor.

“Well at least your nerves are gone.” Jimin stood up as well, straightening his clothes before taking a seat just as the door slowly swung open.

Your eyes flew wide as you watched Bang PD walk into the room in front of your coach. You hadn’t seen him often in the two weeks you were here but the man was a busy man. This was all still new to you and you had to admit that your bow looked a little too eager compared to the relax bow Jimin had given his boss.

“Oh Jimin. Were you practicing your singing?” The smile Jimin gave your boss was radiant and you could tell that he held this man to the highest respect.

“No sir. I just got in. I was waiting for the boys to all get in before we practiced for the concert. I was just stopping by to encourage a friend.” Friend? He already considered you a friend?

“Well sit down then and join us. I wanted to see what my newest trainee could do.” You blushed at that and your eyes locked on with your vocal coach to which he just chuckled as he took a seat. Were you really supposed to just sing like that?

You had to give yourself a little three second pep talk, the thoughts running wildly through your head. It was going to be ok, you were a good singer, confident in your own voice and you knew that with time you would just get better. Even if he said something bad all he was going to do was challenge you to better yourself. You would cling to every word he said afterwards and thrive to be even better for the next time he heard you sing.

They were all seated now and your coach lifted the remote in his hand, clicking the play button as he directed it towards the small stereo. He must have come in before you and set up then went to go get Bang PD. Either way the music was starting and you were going to have to sing.

You listened patiently for the right moment, your eyes glued to the sheet music as you followed the beat to the first word that loomed in the corner of your eye on the ninth cord. The moment approached quickly and you started to sing.

The words flowed from your mouth as you glanced up, gaining the confidence to look at your audience as you heard the steady notes you were able to keep up with. Now that you weren’t singing along you felt the emotions in the words you were singing. The impact of the song was now coming entirely from you, none of it was helping to be conveyed by Jimin’s voice so you pushed more emotion into it.

By the time you had finished singing the music had started to drift off and Jimin was clapping frantically, a huge smile on his face. Bang PD didn’t have a smile on his face but he looked content, his hands clapping along as well. Your coach was sending you a wink and a thumbs up. You had done a good job.

The tension left you slowly as your body started to relax. So it wasn’t that bad to sing in front of them, you had enjoyed being able to show off; even if your audience was only consisting of three people. Your own lips stretched into a smile as well as you caught sight of Jimin again.

“Very well done. You have great potential and I can’t wait to see how good you will be later on.” Bang PD cut in as the music cut off, his voice rising above the sound of Jimin clapping. “I like the emotion you put into singing and the confidence you have. I saw your audition as well and you have had a wonderful voice then. With only two weeks of training I am impressed with how much you have already improved.”

Your boss’ words filled you with pride and you couldn’t help but feel high on his praise. You felt like you could face the rest of your training with those words alone and you knew, you just knew that those would be the words that lingered in your head for years to come. You bowed as he rose from his seat, your vocal coach following after him as he made his way out of the room.

“Thank you sir! Have a nice day!” You rose from your bow and saw as he waved to you before the door closed. Your heart was pounding in your chest and when the door closed you started to bounce around.

You felt giddy and you couldn’t erase the smile from your face as you started the high squeal of pure joy. You registered Jimin’s giggles and you found it in yourself to calm down, at least enough to stop bouncing all over the place.

“Congratulations. I knew you would do great.” His sentence ended in a grunt as you flung yourself onto him.

“Jimin thank you so much for helping me calm down. I wouldn’t have been able to sing as well if you didn’t help.” His arms wrapped around your waist and you felt the gentle squeeze as he hugged you back.

“You’re more than welcome.” Hugging Jimin was one of the best things you had ever experience, it felt warm and comfortable and he wasn’t crushing you. He was the perfect height and your arms rested around his shoulder comfortably as well.

You hated the moment you had to pull away but you knew it wasn’t normal for people to hug that long. You weren’t sure what Jimin was comfortable with yet.

“Hey I want to take you out for dinner to congratulate you. As a friend of course, everyone deserves to be rewarded for their hard work.” You could feel little inklings of nervousness shoot straight through your body as he spoke but the joy you were feeling in the moment greatly overpowered it.

“That sounds great actually. You can show me where you got those dumplings from.” his responding chuckle was light hearted and deep.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll meet up with you here tonight then. I have to go practice though. Big concert coming up.” He stepped forward and gave you another hug, your body responding on it’s own and your arms wrapping around him to return the hug.

When he pulled away he left you with an encouraging pat on the shoulder and a smile lingering on his lips. When he was gone the joy subsided, no one to share it with giving it less power over your body. The inklings of nervousness grew with every passing second, the overwhelming flow of joy ebbing and the nervousness of the upcoming dinner making your skin crawl unpleasantly.

“Hey. The studio is open. Let’s get that recorded real quick.” Your eyes shot over to where your vocal coach was sticking his head into the door, his smile still on his face as he looked back at you.

“Yes sir.” You corrected your sheet music and ran after him, sliding through the door before it had the time to close on you.

He lead you through the hall and then opened up the studio, flicking on the lights and casting bright lights over the equipment that sat frozen and calling out to be brought to life to fulfill it’s purpose. The computer that sat off to the side had the typical screensaver of color that bounced around the screen in random directions. It brought back memories of you sitting there as a child for close to an hour to figure out if there was a pattern to it. You never found one.

“So this isn’t going to be a professional recording but I do want to get both the front vocals and the back up vocals. It might take maybe an hour to get together.” You nodded your head and stood by the door as your coach sat at the desk, waking the machines that sat in wait. “Head on in. I’ll tell you when to start.”

You made your way into the small booth, the microphone sitting in wait and the headphones dangling off the music stand that was filled with music and notes. You set down your sheet music and slid the headphones onto your head, the buzzing of the lights overhead immediately being cut off.

The studio was comfortable, you didn’t feel the nerves you had when you first sang and it was thrilling to be able to hear your voice back after you had performed. When your coach had wrapped things up it had been close to three hours. Both of you had gotten consumed with passion and he gave you helpful pointers on ways to improve the song. You ended up recording both parts more than ten times.

Now you sat in the practice room alone, your thoughts running a million miles an hour as you fiddled with the keyboard. You weren’t exactly a piano player but you did know a few songs and you always found it fun to try and mix up notes. It made you feel like you were composing songs when you knew your talents in that area were limited.

What really had you on edge was the fact that you still had no idea what to think about the dinner Jimin was going to take you to. Did he notice that you looked at him differently than a friend had? You hoped he didn’t because you thought you were being really subtle with it. But maybe he had picked up on the fact that you were so nervous around him.

You took a deep breath and played some random notes on the piano, taking in the sounds to distract yourself. The notes were super awkward but you adjusted one hand and hit the notes again, the sound melding together nicely.

“What are you playing?” You jumped backwards on the little stool and smacked the back of your head against Jimin’s nose and he groaned loudly.

“Oh my god! Why would you scare me like that!” You spun to face him as he rubbed his nose, a smile playing on his lips anyways.

“Sorry. I thought you would have heard me come in.” His head jerked towards the keyboard. “You know how to play piano?”

“No. I was just messing around with it while I waited for you.” You stood up from the stool and shrugged, reaching over and turning the keyboard off.

“Well not everyone can be talented with instruments.” He laughed slightly and watched you gather up your bag. “You ready to eat?”

“I’m starved.”

The restaurant was surprisingly closer than you thought it would have been but you were even more grateful for it. Something told you that you would be visiting this place quite often in your trainee days, especially when they had such great food.

“We eat here constantly. It’s one of the best restaurants by the company and the old lady that runs it is one of the sweetest ladies. She always gives me a discount.”

You laughed as you sat down across from him in a small booth in the corner. The little restaurant was very nice, it was designed simply but what gave you the warm feeling were the notes and the pictures that were framed and hanging on the wall. The owner of this restaurant obviously cared about her customers and her customers must have obviously cared about her.

“My favorite is this one.” Jimin pointed upward behind you and you followed his directions.

There behind you was a long photo frame that displayed multiple pictures. The one furthest on the left was an older picture of a young couple sitting in a booth in the restaurant, obviously dating. The guy’s arm hung loosely around the girl’s shoulders and her hand was tightly intertwined with his.

The next picture displayed the same couple, a little older and still inside the restaurant, but this time the guy was proposing to her. It looked a lot like your typical proposal, the man on his knees and his hands clutching desperately to the small ring box in his hand. The girl standing with her hands covering her face.

The third picture was of their wedding photos, the bright smiles of the two staring into each other’s eyes. Someone had taken the picture without them knowing though, the guy’s hand was carefully fixing his wife’s veil behind her but his eyes were still glued to hers as they smiled at each other.

The last picture was a recent picture and it was of a baby. The chubby cheeks were stretched to accompany the smile the baby had. The arms that held it were feminine and you knew they must have belong to the girl. The baby was holding tightly onto a pair of chopsticks, it’s chubby little fingers gripping tightly around the metal.

This couple had grown up in this restaurant. They had shared their lives to whoever could see it. You stared at the pictures for a while admiring the fact that this couple had cared so much for this spot that it seemed they still returned and they cared so much for the owner that they had documented their lives in this restaurant.

“I saw them in here last month. Their baby is a little bit bigger now though.” Jimin’s voice pulled you back out of your head and you turned to face him once again.

“It’s beautiful.” You gave him a shy smile, your eyes falling to the table to avoid his eyes. “Very romantic.”

“I thought so too. It’s not often you get to see a real life love story unfold. It’s not often you get to hear about real life love stories either nowadays.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the truth of it. Love stories seemed to be more a thing of the past, the tales of stories and the muses for music instead of something people seemed to live out.

“Jimin! You’re back so soon?” You looked up to see a short plump lady waddle towards your table, her cane assisting her as she walked. Jimin rose to his feet, the smile that lit up his face making him look younger and childish compared to the wisdom that the lady held. He gave her a tight hug, his arms wrapping around her shoulders. You jumped at the thought, afraid that he could hurt her hugging her that tight.

“I just missed you so much! I couldn’t stay away from you for so long.” There was laughter in Jimin’s voice as he spoke and to your surprise the lady lifted up her cane and smacked him in the head with it.

“You boys are always sweet talking me. That’s no way to treat your girlfriend, poor thing deserves the attention so stop wasting it on me.” Jimin giggled and looked towards you.

“Isn’t she pretty?” Wait what? Girlfriend?

“Oh no no! We’re not dating, we’re just friends.” The lady smiled at you, her smile warm and welcoming as she shoved Jimin away.

“Ah I see. It’s nice to meet you regardless sweetie.” She made her way to your side as you rose to your feet and you shook her hand, introducing yourself to her politely. “Oh there’s no need for all that fuss. You’re part of the family now sweetie. You can call Minji.”

“Thank you.” The smile that spread across your face was huge. You loved how warm and welcoming Minji was, she was strong in her own way but she was probably the friendliest person you would ever have the pleasure of meeting.

“So I assume I will see you around often huh? Being a new trainee and all.” She gestured to the seat behind you and you listened, taking a seat as you spoke.

“Oh yes. I had some of your dumplings yesterday and there is no way I would go anywhere else.” You chuckled as she waved her hand dismissively at you.

“Oh please. You flatter me too much. I’ll bring your food right out darlings.” Just like that she was gone and you were left alone with Jimin. Strange she had only been around you for a few minutes, three at the most, but you felt like you had known this lady all your life.

“She’s a charmer. Makes me wonder what she was like when she was younger.” You laughed at Jimin’s statement, the image of the kind old lady being younger and still just as warm and friendly. She must have had a lot of people falling for her unique charms.

“She’s so nice. I love her already.” Jimin chuckled and nodded in agreement, his eyes falling to the table as he adjusted his napkin and chopsticks.

“Jimin…” You were suddenly reminded that he had called you pretty. Did he mean it or was it something he just said in the moment? A part of you really wanted to know.

“Yes?” His eyes locked onto yours once more and your courage faded quickly.

“... Oh, I was just wondering if you had a picture in here somewhere.” You wiped your hands on your pants and shifted in your seat, casting your eyes towards the walls to further secure your lie.

“Yeah. We have a group picture over there.” His hand pointed to the wall across from you guys near the entrance. “We took it the night before our debut, she made all of us sign it ‘for the day we all became world stars.’” He used quotation marks around the last bit and you figured that was something she had said to them that night.

“Well looks like you made it. She could probably buy a whole other shop if she sold that picture now.” Jimin laughed at that, his whole body laugh making it’s appearance and his head falling back onto the seat as he sunk down a little bit. You laughed along with him.

Jimin slid so far into his seat that his legs were now framing yours and his thigh brushed up against the side of your leg. You looked down at the table again and waited, your courage suddenly surged back through you and you had to know. You would ask as soon as he calmed down from laughing. It wasn��t long though, his laughter quickly dying as he noticed that you weren’t laughing with him. He must have noticed how nervous you were or something.

“Jimin do you really think I’m pretty?” It was like you had laser focus on the table, you refused to look up at him as he cleared his throat, his body shifting up his seat once again and his legs moving away from yours.

“Of course I think you’re pretty.” Your heart leaped in your chest and you sucked in a quick breath. This dinner felt more like a first date than it did a congratulatory dinner between friends. Then again maybe it was just you that felt that way. “I’d be blind to have to think otherwise.”

You didn’t get to respond to him because Minji called out for the two of you. You looked up to see her walking towards your table once again but this time she had a camera in her free hand. So she was the one that took the pictures? You had assumed as much but now your theory was confirmed.

“Jimin move to the other seat. I need to get a picture of you two.” You flushed at the thought and Jimin rose immediately, easily sliding into the space next to you. “I have to get a picture of my newest customer. You don’t mind do you sweetie?”

“Oh no of course not.” You shook your head and gave her a smile, adjusting in your seat to face the camera better.

Jimin’s arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled you against his side, his other hand coming up to make a V with his fingers. His smile was the same wide smile that made his eyes crinkle and practically disappear. You turned and faced the camera, smiling a bit as she focused the shot on the two of you. As she started the countdown Jimin shifted in the seat and pulled you even closer, making you lean against his side more. The flash went off and that was it.

“Oh it’s such a cute picture!” Minji came closer to the table and showed you the picture, her camera was an amazing camera and you could even see the light dusting of pink on your cheeks. “I’ll have it framed and hanging up soon. You’ll have to come back and sign it for me you two.”

“We will.” Jimin answered for the both of you and it had satisfied Minji enough cause she was walking away once again.

As soon as she left a young waitress brought out your food and placed it at the table causing Jimin to stay seated just where he was as he started to eat his food. The dinner was comfortable enough, Jimin being a good distance that the two of you only brushed elbows as you ate. When you had finished you left a generous tip on the table as Jimin went up to pay for the meal.

You went outside and waited by the door for Jimin, adjusting your hair as the vent that blasted air when you open the door managed to mess it up. You were still jittery from Jimin’s confession, the fact that he had called you pretty and pulled you so close to him making your heart pound in your chest.

You heard the blast of the air vent over the door and turned to see Jimin walking out of the restaurant, his hand gliding through his hair easily you fix the strands that had been knocked about by the burst of air.

“Come on. I’ll walk you home.” He shot you a quick smile before turning toward the apartment complex that was the BigHit dorms and started walking. You followed after him quickly.

“You mean by walk me home you’re going to go home?” Seeing as though you lived in the same building the fact that he was walking you home wasn’t as romantic as it normally would have been.

“Actually. I will even walk you to your door. That’s how nice I am.” Jimin puffed out his chest, trying to earn back some of his confidence.

“We live on the same floor.”

“But we live on the opposite ends of the hallway. Ha! I win.” You shrugged at that. It was true and you figured you would let him have this for now. It could still be considered romantic. You would make it romantic in your head at least.

“Alright alright. You win.” You chuckled as he beamed proudly, his steps a little more bouncy due to his win.

It didn’t take long for you to reach the dorms though, the dorms only having been five minutes away from the restaurant. However staying true to your word Jimin followed you the opposite way towards your door and it had your heart pounding in your chest louder than ever before. You were probably making this out to be a lot more than it actually was to be honest but your crush on Jimin was making your mind think all sorts of crazy things.

“Thanks for the dinner, and for cheering me up today. I had a lot of fun.” You punched in your code to your dorm and turned to face him as you pushed open your door.

“Of course. I’m glad I could help you.” He smiled at you and the two of you stood there awkwardly, waiting for the other to make a move.

“Go on. Go home.” You giggled as you spoke out, pointing down the hall toward his dorm. He just pursed his lips and shook his head.

“Nope. Not until you get inside your home.” You laughed again, rolling your eyes a little at his antics.

“You’re ridiculous, I’m already practically in my home.”

“Yeah but you’re not actually in there. You’re still in the hallway holding your door open.” You shook your head and took a step back, entering your dorm to satisfy him.

“There. Better?” He nodded and leaned forward, quickly pressing a chaste kiss to your lips and leaving you frozen.

“Rest well. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The smug smirk on his face had your face heating up considerably. What on earth was that? You didn’t get any time to ask him though because he turned away from you and ran towards his dorm, quickly slipping in and closing the door behind him.

Needless to say it was a sleepless night that night as you reveled in the fluttering feelings of a new love springing up at the speed of light. Crushes were one of the best feelings in the world because they left you on edge and yearning for the next moment that would send your heart racing.

When you did see Jimin the next day it was in the practice room with him covered in sweat and breathing hard from him practicing and the man in charge of your future requesting that the two of you do a duo. You were going to be spending a lot more time with Jimin apparently.

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